Do you guys have friends and maybe even a significant other? Do you want each and every one of them to hate you and then leave you forever? Well, then fuck the club up in some sick ass Laser Lapel (PATENT PENDING) certified douchwear. Clearly, the creators of this product studied under the legendary Oliver Palnau at the Ready To Win Fashion Institute of Technology. Just peep this epic promo video that inexplicably inserts stock images of several luxury cars, city skylines and the dubious statement: "Light is what separates the modern from the old." EXCEPT, LIGHT IS, LIKE, ONE OF THE OLDEST THINGS EVER. SHIT, EVEN THE SUNLIGHT WE EXPERIENCE IS ROUGHLY 8 MINUTES OLD BY THE TIME IT REACHES EARTH. Anyways, Laser Lapels turn any of your boring, old world, soft shouldered, pick stitched, very expensive Italian jackets into a garish, tricked out import from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift faster than Han could drive a Nissan Skyline. The minute I clicked onto Laser Lapel's website, I heard this song playing on a loop in my head. MUAHAHA! NOW THAT SONG IS GONNA BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD ALL DAY. Finally, I'd be remiss not to give a fat shout out to the owners of Laser Lapel who came up with one of the best corporate names of all time: Gotta Raise Cash Inc. Seriously. That's the parent company. I guess I could have lead with that. It pretty much tells you everything you ever needed to know.
