I've been racing through so much money over here lately I need something to protect my retinas from all this cash, b.
Enter ski goggles.
Remember when this was a fashion statement for rappers in the early '90s? Remember Ma$e and Puff in the "Mo Money Mo Problems" video? Were they using goggles to protect their eyes from Hype Williams' industrial wind tunnels? Were they just that wildly poetic and subversively alluding to the fact that they sold snow on the block? Did they wear them because whippin' work requires the necessary safety equipment? Did they just want to look futuristic like they were from the year 2050 with the hi-tech accessories to overtly show how thoroughly they were stunting on us? If that's the case, why isn't Future wearing them today? I had many questions then. I still have many questions now.
I don't even know where the history of this shit starts. There was the cover of Big Pun's Capital Punishment in '98 (the same year that Ma$e and Puff dropped the aforementioned classic video), where he was sporting the ill bug-eye fighter pilot type joints. Then there's that DMX shot, probably from The Source. (Which is styled fucking impeccably by the way. Please tell me X put that outfit together himself. Someone get me in contact with DMX so I can confirm or deny this). X's apocalypse-prevention gear probably also dates back to '98 or so. But all this impeccable flavor seemed to be towards the end of goggles crowning the domes of high-profile artists—Naughty by Nature wore them in "Feel Me Flow" in '95 (although they're actually standing on a snow covered mountain so it's debatable as to whether or not this officially counts), as did Da Bush Babees in their "Remember We" video. And I'm positive it was around before that. It had to have been, right?
Often featured alongside matching Gucci tracksuits and lively, colorful diamond chains, the goggles are often worn to the side, for posterity's sake, I imagine.
Don't get our admittedly half-assed anthropological studies twisted, though, as we've got bigger moves to make. The pinnacle of all goggle-dom is far and away the elusive (not really) Gucci ski goggles, and they might be on their way back to you-don't-seriously-think-I'm-serious, laughing-at-you popularity. From 2 Chainz to Soulja Boy to Chief Keef, modern trap rappers have re-appropriated the classic Gucci ski goggle into their modern outfits. Often featured alongside matching Gucci tracksuits and lively, colorful diamond chains, the goggles are often worn to the side, for posterity's sake, I imagine. It's more of a "look at how much money I have to drop on elaborate, expensive accessories that clearly serve no real function, but it doesn't matter because I have more racks in my bank account from this month than you will have in your entire existence" type of thing. We are all witnesses.
I never really understood it when I was a youth, but I think I just might understand now. Some of y'all probably still don't get it, but it's cool. You must have this much cash to ride this ride.
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