Ever been hitting the bong with your bros and the kush is so loud that you come up with a million dollar idea? Then, you butt chug some molly water and decide to convince everyone to Venmo you $20,000? Then, you hire a grip of developers to actualize your idea?
Well, that's exactly what happened to us last week during our weekly boys' night out get together. In that moment, when we were stoned out of our minds and rolling our rectums off, it all made complete sense. But, now that we've sobered, it makes COMPLETE FUCKING SENSE. LMAO, fam, why hasn't there been a video game created about Internet minutia and menswear and blogging? I seriously can't believe none of you dweebs out there didn't think of this first. I'm imagining all of your salty faces right now and it's giving me a Flex Boner™.
Anyhow, we just got the first test copy of Four Pins: The Video Game and wanted to preview it for you guys. The release date is set. Q4 2014 is officially on lock. We have a feeling this is going to be the next Tickle Me Elmo.
Justin Roberson already beat Four Pins: The Video Game to 100% completion. Follow him on Twitter here.
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2. FourPins_VideoGame_Career
Career Mode
Start off as a swagless Tumblr nerd and blog your way to the front row at NYFW. It won’t be easy though. You'll have to navigate the #menswear scene with deft aplomb. Choose the right brands to endorse. Make the right powerful friends and enemies. Don't eat too many carbs. Your journey begins now.
Turn on the Time Trial setting to see how fast you can sell out. It's like if Minesweeper had alphets instead of bombs, and you wanted to find them instead of avoiding them.
Can you go from Four Pins serial commenter to Four Pins contributor to Four Pins Editor-in-chief to a menswear professional anyone actually gives a shit about? Will you be become a Fucking Legend™ or fade away into obscurity? Only you can decide your fate!
3. FourPins_VideoGame_Influencer
Become An #Influencer
When you post a "Woke Up Like Dih" pre-work selfie wearing a certain brand's item, does their stock availability deplete almost immediately? Are people adopting your diction and joke constructs on Twitter Dot Com? Are you verified? Are you feared by the masses at large?
The crux of Four Pins: The Video Game (and, by extension, life) is becoming a true blue #influencer. Everything you do, wear, eat and say has consequences for your personal brand. Choose wisely.
Existence is nothing more than the pursuit of amassing influence and we’ve expertly captured that in Four Pins: The Video Game. May your most fire alphet light the dark and treacherous path that leads to Mt. Free Jawnz.
4. FourPins_VideoGame_Fuccbois
Fuccboi Mode
Much like Zombies Mode on Call of Duty, Fuccboi Mode puts you in the middle of a wack, yet mandatory industry turn up function. There are an almost infinite number of fuccbois present and few allies. Schmooze with other #influencers to keep them at bay. One of the only safe zones is the open bar, but the longer you stay there, the more difficult it becomes to dip and dodge the fuccbois. However, if you can chug the right amount of grigio and achieve Perfect Drunk™, you'll get a Goth Ninja stealth bonus. Take care to not be spotted hobnobbing with plebeians. Make it through the night with your personal brand intact and unlock new Klout Perks, like a free fade from Blind Barber. When it comes to the showdown, is it really Nothing To Do A Stunt™?
5. Hypebeast Mode
6. Bro op mode
7. Fire tweets
