How To Convince The World That You're Cooler Than You Are

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Being cool is one of those ephemeral pursuits that can take upwards of a lifetime. Instead of actually being cool though, you can just convince everyone around you that you’re cool. It’s like those really elaborate cons they run on that USA show Burn Notice (yeah, I've never seen it either). If you keep enough of the details believable, people will just automatically assume that you’re one cool ass dude. As always, I've done pretty much all of the work for you. Here’s exactly how you can convince the world that you’re cooler than you are.

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Listen To Cool Guy Bands

The key to listening to cool bands is to act like you listen to them privately, alone with your feels. That way everyone will just assume that despite your blatant abuse of emojis and that time you cried when you watched Up because it reminded you of your grandpa, you have a darker, brooding side. Bonus, you don’t actually have to listen to cool guy bands—you just have to illegally download them so they show up in your iTunes. EVERYONE'S JUST JUDGING YOUR iTUNES LIBRARY.

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Dress Well

Seriously, throw a tunic on and call this trying-to-be-cool shit a day. All your friends make fun of you for spending so much time buying a pair of sneakers to wear to the gym three days a week because they’re jealous of how cool you are. Your girlfriend isn’t pissed that you won’t let her wear your shirts for a "boyfriend look", she’s pissed that her boyfriend is cooler than her. Your parents aren’t exasperated because you got them a heartfelt handwritten note for the twelfth Christmas in a row because you overspent on that amazing indigo dyed cardigan you wore to Christmas Eve at your least favorite aunt’s house, they're...actually your parents are exasperated as shit. But that’s just because they know you better than anyone else in the universe, and they know you’re not really cool.

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