I love Gazelle Indoors. I think it’s because I used to love playing indoor soccer. I remember we always had to drive really far because all the indoor soccer marshmallow domes were in the rich suburbs. Did you guys ever play indoor soccer? Goddamn that shit was the best. It was so much fun to ricochet the ball off the boards into your buddy’s face. I remember in the town I was from, hockey was king and a lot of the kids on my soccer team were also hockey players. Being near the boards would immediately switch them into hockey mode and they would inevitably check some kid so hard that they’d end up with a red card. Anyway, I remember that the doper I looked, the doper my soccer skills. With Gazelle Indoors, I was the dopest looking kid on the team by a mile. Except one time when had a wide open shot, I tripped on the artificial turf and blew it in front of everyone, despite having dope Gazelles and the infinitely cooler long-sleeve jersey on. It was a modern-day tragedy.
