10 Reasons Why Vintage Clothing Sucks

A common thread amongst #menswear heads is to teach gentleman of the Internet how to be "thrifty" and obtain pre-owned, timeless clothing for rock bottom prices. In common vernacular, this is known as "vintage shopping," and thanks to two giant fuckheads who go by the names of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, this pastime has officially gone mainstream. But even before those lames starting singing about the apparent joys of copping '60s, '70s and '80s era swagu, shopping vintage was built upon a foundation of lies—that it's easy, affordable and makes you magically stylish. In typical Four Pins contrarian fashion we've taken it upon ourselves to dispel these fallacies by rattling off 10 reasons vintage clothing is straight up fucking awful. Read it and join the rest of us in reality, where clothing is crispy and maybe-sometimes-okay-most-of-the-time expensive. But, hey, at least the pants we're in weren't worn by some dude when he was getting a popcorn HJ during a 1975 screening of Jaws.

Jake Woolf is a writer living in New York City. You can read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • Neko

    And, where are the 10 reasons?

    • pekopeko

      click/tap the images

  • Evil Merino

    Truth.

  • Dave s

    All true except that Buckskin poncho shit that Hendrix is wearing looks a lot like VisVim to me.

  • jf

    Please, like someone would get rid of some clothes that they had sex in. They would keep wearin that “lucky” shit until it falls apart

    • http://twitter.com/Thalittleteacup Trisan W

      Virgin?

  • brinebombs

    instead you should pay a lot of money for clothes that look like someone used to own it. #kapital #adrevenue

    • Lawrence

      I fucking wish Kapital would advertise with us. That would be way doper than, like, Stacy Adams.

  • luke

    this is a terrible article! congrats!

  • srqpix

    I wear what I want or can afford…who cares what the article says

  • Bobbins

    So, according to your definition of nostalgia, wearing an old shirt = approving of everything about the whole of society at the time that the shirt was made. Got it.

  • BCB

    This is the first (read: only) article I’ve read on here that well and truly sucks dick.

  • Dennis

    I love this article (and vintage clothing)! And because I dont take everything on here so fucking seriously, it made me laugh:)

  • Abbie

    Wow, clearly this is an unfinished article with a lack of great vintage knowledge behind it! Personally I love vintage clothing as you can style yourself however you like, it’s affordable and easy to get hold of.One of the many joys of vintage clothing is searching for it and finding amazing one of pieces! Visit http://www.abigail-joyce-vintage.co.uk

    • Carver Low

      GTFO

  • thetrilltroll

    I think this is a great article, I applaud you Mr. Woolf!

  • Car

    Wow…This is the worse article I’ve ever read on four-pins.

  • Silo Ltd

    We’re an online vintage store (with an OG collection coming soon), figured this was the perfect place to advertise. Check out siloltd.com

  • Trill Mister

    The whole point of vintage is to get high fashion/rare pieces for a reasonable price. This article disproves nothing. Everybody can’t afford a 900 Givenchy shirt….