Young Blogging Hundredaires

How was everybody's weekend? Good? I did it BIG, you guys—slept on my couch because I was too lazy to put clean sheets on my bed AND I missed Game of Thrones. Who can top that shit? I've been on the furious (read: Casual online perusal) hunt for some new spring outerwear and for a second there I really thought I was going to lace myself in that next level Rick. At least until I remembered ya boy's a young blogging hundredaire at best and it probably wasn't the smartest move to piss away my future all for a triple digit like Instagram banger, not matter how sick that pic ("#NOFILTER, MOTHERFUCKERS") would have been. Crashing back to reality, using my face to break my fall, I made moves on this Acne jean jacket instead. I don't normally shop at Acne because the fit doesn't really vibe with my personal lifestyle choice of being fat, but this jacket is purposely a little oversized for an interesting look that justifies the pricepoint vs., say, a $2 jean jacket from Goodwill that's covered in five generations worth of semen. The model here ends up looking like a total dweeb, however, if you skew closer to weighing more than a woman, it'll work and maybe even give you the illusion of being totally buff, bro. I've been wearing it nonstop and my girlfriend is crazy embarrassed to be seen with me in public. She tells me I look like the lame bassist of a greaser revival band that has never played to more than 13 people, all of whom are close personal friends and family of the drummer. If that's not the kind of endorsement you're chasing in a $300 black jean jacket, I'm not sure what to tell you, man.

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  • David

    “I don’t normally shop at Acne because the fit doesn’t really vibe with my personal lifestyle choice of being fat, but this jacket is purposely a little oversized for an interesting look that justifies the pricepoint vs., say, a $2 jean jacket from Goodwill that’s covered in five generations worth of semen.”
    While I would love to speak to the fact that there are > six thousand jean jackets between $2 and $300, I will instead refrain because this is without a doubt the best and longest sentence I have ever read.

    • Chris C.

      What was the longest sentence you read before that one?