You Just Lost Your Job, I Guarantee It!

In a move that has sent shockwaves throughout the entire menswear industry today, Men’s Wearhouse fired its founder and spokesman, George Zimmer. YOU JUST LOST YOUR JOB, I GUARANTEE IT! Ouch. My bad, homie. But you still own something like 1.8 million shares of a company that trades between $26 and $38 dollars a share. You have millions of dollars, so I will never feel bad for you. Money might not make you happy, but it sure makes being depressed way easier. I GUARANTEE IT! Imagine losing the company you founded with nothing but a cigar box as your cash register. Started from the bottom now you here. Or, rather, were here. In an eleventy button double breasted salmon suit no less. Did you guys know George Zimmer is also a big proponent of legalizing marijuana? George, my dude, fuck the board that just ousted you like you're some character in an Adam Sandler movie circa 1988. Instead of fighting to get you rightfully reinstated, how about we smoke some dank and start an entirely new company instead? We could fuck the entire game up with Women's Wearhouse. I GUARANTEE IT! Pantsuits with big ass shoulders on deck for days. We’ll steal Jenna Lyons from J.Crew, get Michelle Obama to rock that shit and make a fucking mint. We got this, Zimmer. Me and you, buddy. I GUARANTEE IT!

  • Glenn TheSituation Danas

    one of your funnier posts

  • http://www.JustinReddingPhotography.com/ JReddingRHC

    Clever, very clever…

  • Jeremy White

    cold