Wild, Albeit Accurate, Assumptions About Our Readers

You take your career seriously. You dress well because you want to dress well and not because you want to make a career out of having semi-decent taste. You're are a graphic designer or a senior copywriter or copyeditor. You applied to Etsy and got to the second round of interviews. You also applied to the Momofuku group too and like "talking" about comedy. You own a pair of Alden's and visvim's because you work hard and enjoy spending that money on things like external hard drives, bicycle parts and coffee. You meet with clients and are kind of snarky and pretentious, but it works and makes you good at your job. You carry bags like this and have a functional piece of industrial design to put into each and every pocket. People like you disgust me, acting all organized and successful. Move to Portland and work for Wieden+Kennedy or something.