Why Lame Dudes Are Still Having More Sex Than You

Every time we feature Bedwin & The Heartbreakers on Four Pins we make fun of their ridiculous brand name. So, today, Bedwin & The Heartbreakers sounds like a badass gang in some cool fucking movie that The Criterion Collection puts on DVD and sells for $35. There’s, like, zero good action in the movie though—it’s all dialogue and allegories and metaphors and various other boring shit. ALLUSIONS AREN’T AS DOPE AS EXPLOSIONS. GET SOME VELOCIRAPTORS AND THEN WE’LL TALK. Although, I will admit that if you have a skrong Criterion Collection game, girls will think you're impressive. She won’t find you any more attractive, but it will help you trick her into coming over to your apartment. You'll still be inferior to her physically, but your DVD's will help her deal with that fact. These sneakers won’t help you impress girls because girls don't really care about sneakers. HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN ALL THESE LAME DUDES OUT HERE STILL HAVING MORE SEX THAN YOU? MAYBE BECAUSE A LOT OF GIRLS HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE? BOOM. YOU JUST GOT SERVED, GIRLS.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Based.LIL.Bear 滕奧銳

    great article tho
    I laughed