What Your Tattoos Say About You

The winds of trends come and go, but tattoos have been around forever. They have a deep history in many cultures and all that. You can Google that shit yourself, player. So right, even though these trends will come and they will go, Morrissey lyrics on your neck ain't going NOWHERE, friend. I have been zapped numerous times—maybe 44 times or so. I also worked as a shop lackey in Seattle at a reputable tattoo shop for a while. I've seen nearly everything you can imagine get tattooed on a person. I've seen the best and the worst designs tattooed onto every part of the body conceivable. Shit, I can guess what someone might want tattooed before they even opened their mouth. Tattoos say a lot about people, but mostly how idiotic we all are. Allow me to use my crystal ball and peer directly into the minds of the following individuals and determine what thoughts, if any at all, went into these permanent decisions of skin artistry. Hopefully these astute observations will serve as a primer for anyone that is interested in going under the needle anytime soon.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • Luchini

    All truths.
    Slide 7 – Fuck that guy. Fuck him frrrreal.
    Slide 8 – Diamond on the chest? Why? You ride for Nick Tershay? No? Then fuck you.
    Slide 13 – Under-boob, so, I can’t say anything bad. Although like you said, any artist worth a shit will tell you that fine print is just gonna be killed, not “killt”, in a few years. Less if you really like candy and burgers.
    Slide 14 – WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM I DON’T CARE GO AWAY I DON’T LIKE IT NO!!

    • Josh

      I don’t have any tattoos but the whole attitude of 90% of the people posting in here is disgraceful. You are the problem with the world. A bunch of judge mental pricks making fun of other people to make yourself feel better. I have a sense of humor but I don’t find this funny at all. You talk about freedom of speech, what about freedom of expression. People that judge people like most of you do make me sick. So bring on the comments, I own my own house, happily married, with two beautiful children and A career. Take a look in the mirror when you call all these people douche bags.

  • curious bloke

    I’ve never met an intelligent person who has a tattoo

    • lawrences

      You should meet Skip in that case.

    • dontbeignorant

      then it probably means you just haven’t met enough people then

    • http://kangalex.com/ Alex Kang

      Get out more.

    • sam

      you don’t have many friends huh?

    • Mark

      Dude, take the bicycle helmet off, stop playing Dungeons & Dragons, move out of your parents basement, and start being curious about women. I think we all know who is NOT the intelligent person here.

      • curious bloke

        I have got with more broads than you have ever seen in your life, son. I live in my own apartment with my girlfriend and I have graduated from Imperial College. Your comment is irrelevant to me.

        • fence

          you said broads. no one will ever get through to you. lost cause

          • curious bloke

            I’m trying to get the hang of this ‘street lingo’ and many people have got through to me in my life. Your comment is irrelevant to me, peasant.

        • Skywalker

          I would expect someone that attended such a pristine school to not be so stupid and ignorant. Do you know how many people in your class, your professors, your headmaster even, probably had tattoos? And you know it, you’re just a troll with nothing better to do then make outrageous accusations to an entire subculture, and then sit back and chuckle to how many of us you pissed off. Your girlfriend should be ashamed of you. I wonder if she knows you’re a troll, or you do it in secret. Let me guess, you have a reddit account too.

        • hah

          Ha must be relevant – you commented on their comment twit

          • Cdogg

            He’s arguing on the internet, that SHOULD say enough about him

        • hamboy

          No offense but being an Imperial graduate doesn’t make you special.

    • Vanessa

      That was by far the most ignorant statement I have ever heard. Tattoos don’t define a level of intelligence. I’m head of marketing for a company. I’m 29 years old, and I have tattoos. I have also ran several of my own companies including my own freelance web/graphic design company, my own line of Hair Accessories, and was partners in a clothing company.

      Also, the person who wrote this article is a complete asshole douchebag, to criticize people’s tattoos without any knowledge of their meaning. Um… that “Big ass tree” is the tree of life and it has lots of symbolism in a variety of cultures.

      The only one I agreed with was the facial tattoos, I think those are a no-no all the time.

  • Lindsey

    “you are clearly about that Maroon 5 life” will now be my choice way of insulting people.

    Thank you.

    • Chase

      mine too best thing I have read all day

  • vincent

    slide 13, maybe she just likes Joy Division. Stop calling everyone BRUH

  • Lexx

    My Doctor and my best friend (masters in bio-chem, working on his doctorate) are both tatted Blake. You shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Same goes for the guy that wrote this.

  • John

    What the fuck man? Who the fuck u think u r writing shit about people’s tattoos? Save your opinion to yourself, tryin to be funny and shit with your style.

    • lawrences

      Which of these pictures is of you, John?

      • Rob

        He’s slide 14, with the dreamcatcher and half eaten fudge cookie.

      • Henny

        ZING

    • Mark

      relax. He is kinda funny. It’s called having a sense of humor. He even said he is tatted up and people have made fun of his choices. Enjoy life. You need to stop playing D & D with curious bloke and get out some. Go to a club, meet a girl. You are WAY high strung.

    • momo

      John,

      It’s the 5th amendment exercised. If that bothers you, son, wither kick rocks or move to China.

  • sam

    this article is hilarious, I was waiting for my pic to pop up for a second… I’d like to see the posters tattoos tho for real

  • Jeremy

    Ayo Skip, my dude, coming from someone that has a solid amount of tattoos myself, I have to say this is deadass on point and very funny. Great write bruh.

    • Skip Class

      Cheers mane

  • yaya

    that tattoo on the first one says: to jesus we all pray

  • Skip Class

    I’m more than happy to field questions via twitter if anyone has issues with their thong getting in a bunch.

    @skip_class

  • Jamie

    Skip, you’re just an angry dick posing as a really shitty writer with nothing to intelligent say. You state that you have a ton of tats, then post them up, let us critique yours you fucking douchebag-coward! I’m sure you’ve got some real “gems”carved into you that we’d all love to analyze. You try to come off as clever/witty, but you fail. Miserably. This so-called “article” really shows your education level, and the lack of quality content curators this site really has. At least your pen-name suits you, as this perfectly describes exactly what you must have done your entire school career.

    So being a shops bitch/lacky for a couple months makes you an expert on tats? We all know your type. I feel sorry for you “Bruh”.

    What’s your article say about you?
    You’re pathetic.

    • lawrences

      It is physically impossible that this article offended you THAT much, Jamie.

      • Luchini

        Hahaha seriously. The only explanation is that he is one of these people AND he has close relationships with all the people involved.

    • Tyler

      TL;DR

    • Mark

      Jamie, the fact that this article pissed you off that much kinda means your’e the pathetic one. Well that and you have a girl’s name. Take off your skirt, find your balls, and chill the fuck out. It was written with a sense of humor, by a very intelligent writer who is just having some fun. have you ever been in a tattoo shop? I mean except the one time when you got your tramp stamp? What the fuck do you think we all talk about when we hang out. We fuckin rip on each other, about tats and everything else. It must suck that your only friend is your mom but that’s no one elses fault.

    • Alex

      Wow.

    • Tim

      Someone’s mad they just got a sick neck tattoo and read on the internet that they don’t look super cool.

    • jordan

      I bet that cut real deep, jamie. He’s probably just staring at he screen tryin to piece together where his life went wrong, now that you’ve seen fit to drop this wisdom. Never stop protecting the internet from people who are WAY OUTTA LINE. Also, sorry about your ink.

  • Dahveed

    Gold as per usual.

  • Kaee

    that shit cracked me up, and made me re-think my idea of a tree with snakes for branches and daimonds for heads tat on my chest with a profound Cat Stevens lyric

  • Steve

    I really like Four Pins and the general sense of humor around here, but I can’t help but think that this kind of article is hurting this whole #menswear culture thing. Maybe I’m taking it all a little too seriously, but if you write articles shitting all over people because of their style choices you’re going to scare people away from trying to be more stylish.

    The Four Pins tagline on advertisements is “We Get Style” then you’re turning around and shitting on people for having their own personal style. I get that fashion is one thing, it’s keeping up with what’s hip and stuff, but style shouldn’t be governed by such strict rules.

    Anyway, just my 2 cents.

    • Mark

      Steve, first off I want to thank you for being the only intelligent person out of all those who problem with this article. You at least have a real opinion of why the article might be taken the wrong way and you could be right. Writing something whitty or funny is always a big risk because there is a chance of turning some readers off.

      My thing is, yes it’s about fashion…. Men’s fashion. This isn’t towards you, unless it applies, but it seems like guys don’t act like guys anymore. You can’t joke with a buddy because it might hurt his feelings. We are all so self absorbed and self important that we don’t want to admit we aren’t perfect. That’s what is great about it. We are all perfectly imperfect and in so many different ways. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves again. There is nothing better then when a friend says something to me (a put down) and I can’t think of anything to say back. anyway, yes it’s about style but at the end of the day its just clothes, shoes, ink, whatever. It’s not who we are on the inside. People need to stop letting fashion and money dictate who we are.

      • Skywalker

        the problem is not with your article. It’s cute and funny, I liked it. what sucks is that there are too many dumb people that will take this as an invitation to be a cunt, or “troll”. i also write and I always have a problem with this. For example, you write this, and the first comment is some dumbass who writes that he’s never met a smart person with tattoos. Now, why would someone write that on an funny article that pro-dominantly tattooed people will read? And that obviously spawned every tattooed person reading it to get defensive. Please don’t take that against your article. I’m sure if the first comment wasn’t that, you’d have a lot more intelligent rebuts :)

    • desa

      I think this is what Skip_Class is trying to get across to everybody – people think they are having their own personal style, but in the end don’t realise that they are not going to look unique at all by having the same stuff inked permanently across their bodies. What is unique when you see 4 eagle tattoos in 14 pictures? I’ll admit the guy with the diamond instead of an eagles head was very “unique”. While his style of writing does not appeal to everyone I think it gets the message across.

      P.S. Skip_Class you should also resurrect the Shurt Feelings here, I can guarantee the reaction will be about 96.4% the same as for this. Keep up the good work!

  • http://fuckordie.com benji

    haahahha! I enjoyed it. besides all the male models in underwear.

  • collin

    Funniest shit on 4pin in a minute.

    For all them butt hurt haters who found they selves on the list, shitty ink is on the rise and erybody and they grama’s getting that shit removed. Word is bond. Shit’s science look it up.
    http://www.voanews.com/content/tattoo-removal-gains-popularity-136589988/163303.html
    http://sfcosmeticsurgery.com/blog/tattoo-removal-increasing-in-popularity/

  • Braeza

    Dead @ ‘Skin Fart’.

  • corey

    Skip stays killing it. If you could bring back Look Books Are For Assholes that would be perfect.

  • Israel

    Huhhhhhlarious. Including the string of hate comments that followed the article.

  • neil

    the guy in pic 5 has the real madrid logo on his chest.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Madrid_C.F.

  • http://www.alexaugustus.com Augustus

    Dudes. Slide #14 is Simon Erl. Dudes one of the best tattoo artists in the UK. You guys suck for putting him on here like that.
    http://simonerl.tumblr.com/

    • Luchini

      He might be a dope artist but he still looks like an asshole.

      • Mark

        Luchini,
        that is funny shit right there! Haha.

    • fence

      not Simon Erl, I forget his name but they work in the same shop. a bunch of those tats might be by Simon though

  • http://www.cakesandcrown.com Israel Daramola

    i once met a guy with a hollister seagull tattooed on his back. the whole upper back.

    this is not a joke

  • Matt

    I still think it’s funny that the contributors on this site have titles like “writer.” Seriously though I still read it.

  • Mark

    This is some funny shit. Made me laugh. All you mother fuckers that get all pissed off over this just chill the fuck out. Damn, what are yall like around an actual crises. Skip might know all these people and they are cool with him making fun of them. They had to give permission for their pictures to be on here. You dumb fucks. Yall are missing what life is about. loosen up and have some fun.

  • http://www.isaaclikes.com Isaac Hindin-Miller

    I got a tattoo of Zebras in America from Freddy Got Fingered on my left buttock cheek on my 21st birthday that was both the most ridiculous and awesome thing I’ve ever done.

    Despite this, I despise tattoos as much as this guy.

    This is easily the funniest thing I’ve read in 2013, and the greatest thing that’s ever been published on Four-Pins. God damn it I hope you write more pieces like this every day of the week. I’ll read them all.

  • Kevin

    You people getting so mad about this are hilarious. Most anyone with more than a couple tattoos has some that suck, myself included. Chill the fuck out, don’t take everything so seriously.

  • grapsta

    Great idea for an article…shame the writers got zero insight, shoddy writing ability and can only come up with half funny jokes. Meh.

  • colin

    dead at “high school art student’s final project cross bred with a fuck boy”. shit is crazy hilarious keep the articles coming skip

  • Ron_To

    poor article. shame on u Skip class

  • zan

    experience has shown me that these are quite true. and i also prescribe the below the collar and above the cuffs rule. but as another rule, i try not to ask about other’s ink or why they got it. if i think someone has bad taste, i walk away. and when people ask about my ink, i give them a polite short response. because ink is permanent, why bother criticizing it, its the easiest way to see someone’s true colors.

  • Torin

    I think the writer makes some good points in this article, though I feel like he is trying a bit too hard to pick on people for trying to be unique. You just cannot pick on a person for trying to be an individual. That sort of attitude will see future generations wearing only tribal tattoos and listening to only top 40 music.

    Maybe I’m biased or even slightly offended as a proud wearer of a “big tree with, like, hella roots and leaves and shit” on my back (I thought it was original when I was 21) but there are so many tramp stamps, neck bar codes, chinese script and southern cross (come to australia – it needs to be seen to be believed!) tattoos out there that I would have hoped deserve a spot in this type of article before me.

    P.S. Save for the guy’s other shitty tattoos, I thought the dream catcher was pretty cool.

    • Tim

      I’ve never seen an “original” tattoo that makes someone look like an “individual.”

      • Torin

        If you’re trying to troll, it’s probably a better idea to read what people have to say rather than have a quick glance and say the first thing that comes to mind. Come prepared guy.

        I never said original tattoos make people look like individuals. I said people who get (what they perceive to be) original tattoos are trying to be individuals, and this is no reason to hang shit on a person.

  • http://unttld.com/ Derek

    So Skip, what do your 44 wholly unique tattoos say about you?

    • Ramon

      Yea was about to ask the same question ^

  • Fr3sh

    haters ball

  • Doug

    you’re such a piece of shit. stop judging people. it’s their body, not yours. i’m sure we could find 100000 things wrong with your life.

  • ThanksNyc

    “ill take an order of what Megan Fox thinks is cool to go please”

  • K

    Kid Ink

  • J De la Cruz

    lmao the man is right

  • Neilson Spencer

    #4 – “He dabbles with drop crotch pants and modern luxury serp ware, but he sees the bigger picture.” bahahaha so good!

  • LarryL

    Two Comments: #1… USE PUNCTUATION! The word ‘I’ is capitalized… as is the first word of a sentence. Use the shift key. You look like idiots.
    Speaking of looking like idiots. How can anyone think some dude with a neon ‘T’ sign on a storefront be able to improve on the most incredible piece of art ever created… the human body?
    Would you draw a mustache on the Mona Lisa?

  • Lol Boy

    This is funny as fuck, It’s true, 90% of tattoos are bad and pretentious

  • MR.X

    I dont really agree with you but if i read this as more of a joke-article than a serious one this is hillarious i was laughing quite a bit, good work!