You might not remember the day you discovered your first pubic hair. You probably don't remember where you were the day Bush did 9/11. But, we all remember what we were doing on June 28, 2013—floating to the heavens from elation. That was the day we first saw TerRio's vine of him throwing a basketball and then humping the air with such fervor and force and passion that belies his six short years on this earth. A few days later, his cousin Maleek would document his now world famous molly dance and nothing was the same. Capturing our hearts with a few jiggles, he was no longer Maleek’s cousin TerRio; he was our cousin TerRio.
TerRio's transformation from child to international sex symbol has also brought about a level of swag hitherto seen or known. TerRio started this off as an innocent Magikarp flailing about, and has since evolved into the SwaGyarados he is today. It is important we chronicle this historic process, as our children may grow up believing that Secretary of Swagriculture TerRio was an urban legend. "No way a child possessed that much swag!" they will yell, and you will simply point them to this think piece. Pay attention, and you too may even pick up a swag nugget or two to apply to your own life. Ooo kill 'em. Ooo kill 'em. Ooo kill 'em, indeed.
Ooo, Justin Roberson just killed 'em. You can follow him on Twitter here.