There’s All These Bitches Screaming That Payton Back

Sorry everybody, but right now I couldn't give a fuck about your FBTs, or CPs, or EG Vans, or whatever BECAUSE PAYTON BACK, PAYTON BACK! THERE'S ALL THESE BITCHES SCREAMING THAT PAYTON BACK! The Air Zoom Flight AKA “The Glove” was one of Gary Payton’s signature models and definitely still murders the game. That monkey paw technology, the full neoprene shroud, the inimitable shit talking of the shoe’s namesake—it all adds up to a the must purchase sneaker of the season. Were you even alive when Payton and Kemp were playing together in Seattle? THAT SHIT WAS STRAIGHT BANANAS. You’re probably wondering—since you play absolutely ZERO basketball—what you would wear these sneakers with. THOSE PUBLIC SCHOOL DROP CROTCH SHORTS WITH LEGGINGS, A SHOOTER’S SLEEVE, AND A BAD ATTITUDE, obviously. If you can’t figure out what to wear with Gary Payton’s sneakers, you should call up a special hotline that is just him talking mad shit about you and your sartorial shortcomings. Get on that pre-order now and have that monkey paw technology on your doorstep by November.

  • Carlos

    Don’t forget the ill Detlef Schrempf flat top for your fit.