The First Day Of School Must Have Been Tough For Merz B. Schwanen

Ya boy Merz b. Schwanen made this loopwheeled longsleeve polo. Can you imagine being Merz b. Schwanen on the first day of school? The teacher must have been all like, “M-m-Merz b. Schwa-Schwanen...?” in some terrible Midwestern accent and all the kids must have thought, YO, WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ASS FOREIGN NAME IS THAT? OH MAN, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO LET MERZ LIVE THIS ONE DOWN. WE ARE GOING TO TORTURE HIM COMPLETELY THROUGH HIS ADOLESCENCE. SO MUCH SO, IN FACT, THAT HE BECOMES A FASHION DESIGNER. WHAT A DORK.