Combine extraneous pockets with an absolute need for binge drinking and you have this: The Drinking Jacket. Complete with bottle opener zipper, neoprene koozie pocket, drinking gloves and a hidden flask pocket, The Drinking Jacket has literally every single one of your needs covered for when you're out drinking and want to look like you ordered a piece of clothing off one of those sketchy Chinese sites that uses black mannequins. This genius piece of hammeredwear comes to us from the drunken mind of Zane Lamprey, who sounds like a fucking James Bond villain, but is actually just a relatively well-known drinking expert and the owner of premium rum company, Monkey Rum. So, at the very least, dude knows a thing or two about getting pant shittingly drunk. Unsurprisingly, he has zero swag.
This whole thing is pretty rough. The only planning I do around my drinking is to make sure that if I spill on my fit, it isn't completely ruined. That's about the extent of my thought process. But apparently, these days, you need to have the fucking Swiss army knife of hoodies to be able to handle a little bit of recreational drinking. Not sure about you guys, but I don't need to become MacGyver to chug a beer. If you really need all these features, you probably shouldn't be drinking in the first place because you might just be a straight up moron. Of course, this is already funded almost FIVE TIMES over, so cheers to the end of humanity as we know it.
