That Shit Is Called Ambiance

Dude, you need some throws in your apartment. I was going to say house, but let’s be honest, you don't live in a home. Unless you do, in which case you’re probably married or in a committed relationship. In which case you already understand the importance of a good throw. Why do you need expensive wool blankets? THAT SHIT IS CALLED AMBIANCE, YOU UNCOUTH MOTHERFUCKER. Learn to appreciate the finer things in life. Also, women are always cold. WOMEN BE SHOPPING AND WOMEN BE COLD. That weird polyester fire hazard you call a blanket, that you still have from your first dorm room, isn’t really what the opposite sex is looking for. These Pendleton throwsare available though. And yes, you have to refer to blankets as "throws" now. Embrace it.