You Still Live In The Real Word Despite Your Best Efforts Not To

Despite all of your best efforts to live a lifestyle full of creativity, drop crotches, sneakers and side bitches with beepers, you still live in the real world. And in the real world your girlfriend will make you go to some wedding that you could care less about filled with food and human beings that you won’t ever remember again for the rest of your life. And you can’t wear Nikes to a wedding, even if they are Tier Zero. So get yourself some nice chukkas. For most situations in which everyone else will be dressed up, you’ll be dressed up too, but in that cool, casual, creative-guy way. Like, the cool art teacher at a boarding school who isn't opposed to hitting a J and canoodling with a senior who is "mature for her age."