Sneakers You Can Wear To Court (Just Kidding, These Obviously Aren’t Sneakers)

Check out these new Nikes, dawg. They went in a different direction with the sole units and the upper is a little different, but these Nikes are fire. J/K LOL these aren't Nikes. I feel like whenever we talk about shoes that aren't sneakers, we have to talk about them like you do with vegetables to some asshole kid that only eats chicken nuggets. Don't be the guy that owns seven hundred pairs of sneakers and not one pair of decent long wings. Or, fuck it, be that guy. I don;t know what your personal experiences are like. Maybe you don't need a pair of long wings in your life. But I find that highly questionable. I lead a very responsibility free, very degenerate lifestyle and even I have had occasions in which I had to wear non-sneakers. Namely, to court. Also, your significant other will inevitably make you attend a wedding and significant others love when you wear a suit and long wings.

  • rawlie

    Hi Jon. Can you write an article with all the caps lock parts written in italic?

    Kind regards,
    Sir Thanks-a-lot

    • fuck you rawlie u sack of shit

      srsly fuck this dude he don’t get it -.-

  • marc

    they kinda got that swoosh going on if you look at it the right way tho tbh