The Sartorialist’s Footwear Collection Leaves A Little Bit To Be Desired

The Internet has done a great deal for humanity, but I'm not sure anything beats getting the opportunity to poke around in other people's shit. Not literally of course because that's fucking disgusting and, more importantly, I would imagine we are all wearing expensive gloves this time of year. All I'm saying is, I happen to be a pretty big fan of openly encouraged digital voyeurism. I would imagine a bunch of other people agree. Why do you (hate) follow who you (hate) follow on Instagram? Why do you want to spend a slideshow's worth of time jerking off in Kanye West's apartment while he's away on tour? It's pretty refreshing to dive head first into an alien world of privilege if only to escape your own miserable existence. Today's one way ticket to I Want To Go To There City, USA comes courtesy of the resentment portal known as The Coveteur. And would you look at that? Four Pins frenemy, two time author, inventor of street style, Scott Schuman just answered the door in a bathrobe he probably stole the last time he was on vacation.

We could devote an entire afternoon breaking down everything this man has in his apartment, or how his version of home differs from that of his charming girlfriend, Garance Dore, but I don't really feel like doing anymore work today than I already don't have to. So, we're talking footwear. As far as proper shoes are concerned, Scotty's got the #Menswear Greatest Hits Collection on vinyl. He's caught all of the Pokemons if Pokemon were anatomical structure receptacles wrapped in dead animal skin. But the sneakers? The sneakers? Well, there's a little bit left to be desired, especially coming from a guy who claims his blog helps him count a casual seven figures per annum. I would imagine that your WordPress nets you less money than a birthday card from grandma and yet you still have hotter kicks than the guy who throws dinner parties that look like Mount Rushmore. Though, if I'm being honest, I'm not really that surprised. I have low sneakers expectations when it comes to a guy who wasn't necessarily getting picked first during pick-up basketball, ya dig?

  • theneedledrap

    Slide 1: strong 7 to a light 8
    Slide 2: light to decent 5

  • pp

    Pity Schuman is an massive cunt.

  • tony

    everything but the adidas are poop

  • Bread

    Anybody know what the bottom right wingtips are and the high top nikes?

    • BBSLM

      Cordovan Alden longwings, Nike Flytops.

    • French Montana’s Manicurist

      Peasant bullshit.

  • YA BOY BOOGA

    i THINK I SEE DOG POO ON ONE OF THE SNEAKERS

  • you.know.it

    there’s CP achilles lows. the rest of the sneakers are irrelevant.

  • YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE

    this is stupid. no one cares. move on.

  • kuma

    Slide 2 screams hey i graduated with a business degree from a big 10 university and i like to drink miller lites on the weekend at bars where everybody is white

  • Angelo

    Just looks like he doesn’t get off trying to bite everything he slips on his feet like you knobs.