“Sapphire Future”, “Ocean Karma”

Let's talk candles. Specifically, let's discuss this grenade-shaped candle from your friendly, neighborhood #trillwave purveyors Stampd. This household item is what one might call "stupid". Like, in your head, you think buying this is a good idea because you have some pipe dream of it sitting on a coffee table made of a single slab of marble alongside your $700 visvim, Rick Owens and Tom Ford books. But when you receive it in the mail, you will—how do I put this—remember that you have none of those actually awesome things. Let's be real, this candle will sit in the top drawer of your struggle Ikea dresser and you'll end up lighting it before you watch porn. Come on man, you really think any girl will be impressed by your fucking grenade candle? Girls only mess with Diptyque joints that smell like things that aren't even real smells, like "Sapphire Future" and "Ocean Karma".