Retailers Are Trying Way Too Hard To Curate Playlists That Will Make You Twerk In A Dressing Room

Holy shit guys. Not only are retailers paying this company called Mood Media to curate the playlists for their stores, but there's an entire feature in The Wall Street Journal on this nonsense. According to the article, "Shopping to music prompts the release of dopamine, delivers a sense of pleasure and helps focus attention, said Daniel J. Levitin, a professor of psychology and behavioral neuroscience who runs the Laboratory for Music Cognition, Perception and Expertise at McGill University, Montreal." Uh, yeah, duh. So does drinking whiskey while online shopping a 1am. Did we really have to tap a psychology professor to learn that people like to listen to music when they do just about anything? People listen to music when they workout. They listen to music when they sex up on each other. Shit, I'm listening to some Disclosure while writing this very post feeling like Kate Moss on the runway circa 1988. "Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to youuu..."

The article also goes to explain that different brands aim to evoke different emotions that will match their brand and appeal to their target audience. Specifically, a company like the Gap "Aims to capture 'optimism, democracy and individualism,'...Its playlists include Rihanna and U.S. indie band Fun." Yes because when I'm re-upping on blue striped T-shirts and wide-leg chinos, I'm also considering lofty political and social ideologies. Also, Rihanna is the best you guys could come up for to represent "democracy"? Ultimately, I think what this article misses is that 99% of playlists in stores are unexceptional at best and straight doodoo butter at worst. And they should be unexceptional. Music tastes are one of the most personal things we have as modern humans, so you're never going to curate "The Perfect Playlist" that will make every customer want to twerk in the dressing room. But really, the point is that no one really gives a fuck about the music in a store unless it's some banger they remember from their youth a la "No Diggity". Play that shit and I'll buy up the whole damn store.

 

 

  • yungbergyclean

    ya ssense…

    but they are showcasing artists at the same time so its pretty dope