On The New Crop Top Trend For Men

I’m not sure if Fashionista is trolling hard in the paint or if they really are bringing that rare trend analysis on crop tops for men. First of all, something's not a trend just because it sticks indelibly into your brain after you stumble ass backwards into three looks from Monsieur Struggleton's debut show. But let’s just say that a whole grip of designers are in fact sending hella crop tops down the runway. AIN’T NOBODY GONNA BE WEARING A CROP TOP.

You know how there are salient points for the decriminalization of drugs that aren’t really drugs, like weed? The arguments go towards the disproportionate racial demographics of those jailed under drug laws and the wasted resources spent policing a drug that is less dangerous than alcohol, etc., etc. and then a bunch of stoners in tams and white dreadlocks try and pass a decriminalization bill and name that shit "Prop 420". They say some nonsense like, “It’s just a plant, man. You can't control nature, man. Legalize weed and there won’t be any more wars, man." And then a bunch of equally idiotic people get pissed because the decriminalization movement is now totally ruined for everyone. Well, it's the same here with the handful of designers that make absolutely batshit stupid stuff like crop tops for men ruining Fashion for dudes who are ALREADY uncomfortable about being really into an industry known for its complicated relationship with masculinity.

Me? I couldn't give less of a shit what gets sent down the runway. Not because I’m above high-fashion, but because I know a few insano looks don’t magically equal a trend. Shit, Bastian sends down mad bros in speedos, like, every fucking S/S. Nobody's saying speedos are gonna be a trend and I guaran-fucking-tee that at least 17 billion runway shows will send dudes out in speedos vs. the three touting crop tops. Although real talk, give ya boy some penis muscles a la Brad Pitt in Fight Club and I’d probably wear a crop top too. But only the mesh half jerseys you wear for two-a-days because sports aren't weird.

  • Guest

    I like you, Jon.

  • Andrea

    you are so pressed