On Straps And Staying Relevant

Garbstore and Grenson made this calf suede single monk with crepe soles. WOAH, EVERYBODY HOLD UP. A SINGLE MONK?! What the hell? I just bought double monks, guys! This is like that time I told my mom wearing your backpack with both straps was only for lames and that I didn’t care about back support or the health of my spine. Then I show up to school for the new year and everyone is rocking both straps! LIKE, WTF, TRENDS? QUIT CHANGING. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY RELEVANT? Fuck, how am I supposed to stay hyper-revelant? READ WEBSITES THAT LINK ME TO THE NEWEST GEAR? Fat chance. Those things are garbage. The writers use caps lock and cursing to mask their intellectual bankruptcy and insecurities.