Nothing Is Exclusive

Yuketen made these plain toe walkers in black suede exclusively for the The Woodlands, which is awesome. I can't get anyone to do anything exclusively for me. I just found out that the Thai spot I frequent lets everyone order off the menu if they know about the secret options. FUCK, I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE THE OWNER COULD SENSE MY LATENT ASIAN-NESS AND WAS HOOKING ME UP, BUT THEN THIS CUTE WHITE GIRL WITH A DUMB HAT ON CAME IN AND TOTALLY ORDERED FRIED CHICKEN FRIED RICE TOO, WHICH, YES, IS A THING. SPOILER ALERT: NOTHING IS EXCLUSIVE AND LIFE IS A SHAM. Well, except these shoes. The black suede is fucking fire, guys, and I know these aren't "Breds" or whatever, but you really need to diversify your shoe collection. Right now you're out here looking like one of those weird psychopaths that only eats one color of M&Ms.