New Study Finds Dickhead Sales Associates Actually Make You Want To Buy More

The University of British Columbia's Sauder School of Business recently conducted a study that found snobby store associates at high-end stores can actually make customers want to shop more because humans are insecure and want to impress people who don't like them. What we're essentially talking about here is retail Mean Girls and/or "negging," which is totally fucking stupid. I guess none of us should really be surprised that this is the case, considering a lot of young women fall victim to these same tricks, only instead of sales associates, it's some guy name Zack in a tank top and Oakleys who doesn't text her back, but who is like soooo totes hot thooo. I mean, really all we're taking about is the attractiveness of most high-end store employees, so obviously they can be assholes to customers on the job and get away with it because they can be assholes in real life and get away with it. So, I can't exactly disagree with the theory, considering I shop a lot at Supreme, a store where the employees are notorious dickholes. But after a while, the schtick gets old. Like, can't we all just be human beings to one another when money is being exchanged? Eventually, Zack is going to grow up and all those girls will now be women who realize he's just a total fucking asshole.