How To Lose 3 Friends That Studied English At UVM

The Knottery just dropped these scarves that look like drug rugs and they are pretty fantastic. Everyone likes the idea of drug rugs (especially us), but the only people who actually buy them are English majors at UVM. I think my friends who went there got a fucking 6 pack as part of their welcome package when they moved into their dorms freshman year. They also got a lifetime of student loan debt and zero workplace experience. ZING! I actually love my 3 friends who went to UVM, but they would definitely hate this scarf. "You're just wearing that hemp as a fashion statement, you don't even really smoke weed, man" is something I could totally see one of them saying. Then I'd get all defensive and be like, "But it's wool. Not hemp, you fucking idiot" and lose 3 friends in the process.