Guess what I just did with nine minutes and six seconds of my precious, far-too-little time on this planet? I watched the premier of LOOKBOOK: The Series. As in LOOKBOOK.nu, the website where roughly 7.5 billion girls and 300 dudes posts photos of themselves, all the while recording unheard of levels of bad taste. It’s the very reason we all know how to pose in WIWT shots and the sole source of content for that one Tumblr that aggregates photos of fashion bloggers who actually have big boobs. Trust me when I say it's hard do a quasi-legit style analysis of the insanity that is a show about, and I quote:
"… a young girl who moves to Los Angeles and inadvertently enters the world of online fashion blogging—and quickly goes on to experience all the passion, intrigue, and betrayal that follows. LOOKBOOK: The Series explores the creative and intimate relationship between a fashion blogger and her photographer using a dramatic urban fairytale told through the canvas of LOOKBOOK.nu and the L.A. fashion scene."
Annnnddddd I can’t. I tried, but I just fucking can't, guys. I’m simply too old and my feeble, addled brain simply cannot comprehend the thought process(es) that coincided with this show’s production.
Seriously, what is so awesome about being a fashion blogger? Is this what fashion blogging is really like? Am I missing out on amazingly salacious everythings? DO FASHION TOAST AND SONG OF STYLE AND THAT ONE CHICK THAT TAKES PHOTOS OF HER THIGHS IN A HOT TUB A LOT ALL LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE GLAMOROUS APARTMENT? IS OSCAR PR GIRL A CRAZY BACKSTABBING ICE QUEEN? CUPCAKES AND CASHMERE? MORE LIKE COCAINE AND CONSPIRACIES! GASP, IS THE STYLE GIRLFRIEND CHEATING ON STYLE?
Shout out to the writers for having our main protagonist get discovered immediately upon leaving the train station. For real though, she walks 4 paces before getting discovered. And 4 paces to a girl is really, like, 2 paces. That's all! It's totally how bloggers become famous. They definitely don’t do things like spend years toiling away in anonymity, forcing boyfriends with doctorates to become personal photographers before they get a standing invite to a Proenza Schouler show that one time. The only thing more preposterous than believing that a random "street photographer" (which kinda just makes me think of street magicians) who runs a blog called "Hype Life," excuse me, "HYPELYFE," wouldn’t pull a full Richardson and whip his dick out mid-photo shoot (WHICH WOULD TOTALLY HAPPEN IF YOU WANDERED OFF WITH A RANDOM DUDE YOU MET OUTSIDE OF A TRAIN STATION IN LOS ANGELES BY THE WAY), is if a blogger on the show trademarked a catch phrase. Oh wait, that actually fucking happened in real, actual life.
Before it wraps, the episode finds time to fit in a completely insane scene involving a Four Pins-esque amount of swear words (they say "fuck" a bunch, which, considering my pedigree, shouldn’t surprise me, but it totally did), a gay outing that will somehow eventually be used for blog content AND an Alexander Wang name drop. I kept waiting for Bobby Trendy to show up as a Bryan Boy type supporting character on the show, but that's just because I'm a self-hating Asian. You have got to watch this. YOU HAVE TO. This is a fashion blogging game change on a level never before seen. Guys, I'm hooked.