A “Just Because” Gift For Your Girl

Hey man, are you looking for a gift for your girl? No? WHY THE FUCK NOT? SHE PUTS UP WITH SO MUCH OF YOUR STUPID SHIT SHE DESERVES A "JUST BECAUSE" GIFT. Take it from me, significant others fucking love "just because" gifts. Build up a solid reserve of "just because" gifts so when you absolutely brick her birthday or some stupid 9 month anniversary date, she won't be that heated because throughout the year you get her dope stuff. Back in the day (circa 1987 or so), girls probably wore these joints with spandex and leg warmers. Today, girls will probably wear them with leggings and those tank tops with really big arm holes that show off their bra. GIRLS, THAT SHIT IS LIKE KRYPTONITE. I know the fact that your girl has a pair of all red sneakers before you will pain you to no end, but at least she ain't the dumb thot still wearing sneaker wedges. SNEAKER WEDGES ARE FOR GIRLS WHO LIKED KIM K'S STYLE BEFORE SHE GOT WITH KANYE. Ya know what I'm saying?

  • London Calling

    Sneaker wedges ARE ghastly.