The Jos. A. Bank Vs. Men’s Wearhouse Beef Is Escalating

This Jos. A. Bank Men’s Wearhouse beef is getting crazy. After letting Jos. A. Bank’s $2.4 billion dollar offer expire, Men’s Wearhouse pulled a G move and just turned around and offered to buy Jos. A. Bank for $1.54 billion. Talk about a wild power move. “YOUR SHITTY SUIT COMPANY IS WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS LESS THAN OURS. WE GUARANTEE IT.”

I had no idea the world of shitty suits and prepackaged shirt/tie combos was so cutthroat and brimming with wild amounts of cash. I guess the major shareholder for Men’s Wearhouse is currently seeking "white agent" status in order to hold a special shareholders meeting to "unlock shareholder value" with financial black magic like a bunch of poorly-dressed wizards. We're going to keep covering this drama because of its inherent hilarity, but someone much better than us should probably step in as a mediator and squash this shit before a couple four button suits end up in the same hospital where Biggie Smalls died.