Introducing Baby Cashmere, Now The Most Luxurious Fabric On The Planet

First, did you guys know there's a website called Luxury Daily? While it sounds like the name of Brandon Sales' secondary Tumblr, it's actually a site dedicated to reporting news in the field of luxury marketing. Who knew luxury marketing had enough breaking news to warrant an entire website? The Internet is fucking crazy, man. Anyways, Loro Piana, the Italian wool powerhouse, is introducing a new material using a flash animation cartoon on its site. What’s the new product? BABY MOTHERFUCKING CASHMERE, SON. Why is baby cashmere more expensive and therefore better than regular ass cashmere? WATCH THE FUCKING CARTOON, YOU LAZY BASTARDS. If you can't wait, it's because baby cashmere can only be combed off of baby goats once in their lifetime, and each goat only yields 80 grams of the 13 micron fiber, which means it takes 19 goats to make a single sweater. The resulting fabric is supposedly extremely light, soft and luxurious. I guess before Loro Piana convinced them to set aside the fibers, the shepherds in Mongolia and Northern China simply mixed both adult and baby goat fibers together. I'm actually not that surprised that baby cashmere is now being introduced and marketed to the public. Rich people love consuming the products of baby animals. Baby cashmere, suckling pig, veal, exploiting child labor overseas for profit are all pretty much par for the course when it comes to rich people. My only real question is how is the undisputed King of Ca$hmere, Brunello Cucinelli, is going to respond? INVITE ME BACK TO YOUR PITTI DINNER, BRUNELLO. WE CAN STRATEGIZE AND POLITIC OVER BURRATA.

  • http://www.evilmerino.tumblr.com/ Evil Merino

    I’m so down.