Imagining How Artisanal Matches Will Change Your Life

Who wouldn't want some fancy fucking matches? Imagine how amazing they will look on your desk when a blogger snaps a pic of your "workspace". Imagine how good these will look laid out perfectly amongst the other pretentious shit you're highlighting in your "everyday carry". Imagine how impressed shorties will be when you light their heirloom joints with artisanal matches. Imagine how the conversation will segue from your love of fonts and vintage advertising to touching each other’s private parts. Imagine how the world will remember you, a cultured, genteel man, who appreciated even the smallest aesthetic details. Imagine just how fast your forever alone time will pass while playing with whimsical matches.

  • disqus_944TVOoMyY

    These shits are probably made by Diamond or the European equivalent and just packaged in some trendy jawn overseas.

  • Michael

    i have too much sex with too many girls to be able to relate to Jon Moy’s writing