If Kelly Slater Had A Meth Problem And Ate A Lot Of Doritos

Onia is Hebrew for "ship". Not that you cared, but you can casually work that into some conversation like you do random tidbits you learn from NPR. You will probably impress someone. Or no one, but at least you’re learning new words. It’s important to never stop learning because if you stop learning you can’t keep sonning people in comments sections based on their peasant level knowledge base. Onia, other than a Hebrew word, makes fancy swim trunks, which you need because you do not have good abs or pectorals. Most dudes opt for the PacSun boardshort thing and they end up looking like Kelly Slater circa the Baywatch, except if Kelly Slater had a meth problem and ate a lot of Doritos. Instead, get yourself some smart, classic trunks. The biddies at the pool in those weirdo swimsuits with all the cutouts will be impressed. Just remember, the 5-inch inseam swim trunk is for a select few. You may very well not be a part of the select few.

Tags
  • #menswear

    Hey Four Pins, you gotta help me

    what is a stylish dude who likes to wear shorts supposed to do?!?

    Please make an article w some shorts 2 cop #confused and #alone

    • Shooter McGavin

      Cargos

      • jack

        #no

    • habezea

      caprise