How Emails At Four Pins Typically Go Down

Sometimes I get emails from the ol’ Editor-in-chief that go something like this:

Subject: For Tomorrow

Body: *some link to some bullshit like “THE Minimal Sneaker"* Your hits are a little late, fuckface.

AND I NEVER KNOW IF I’M SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT THE MINIMAL SNEAKER SERIOUSLY OR MAKE FUN OF IT. See, editor-in-chiefs are into trends and styles that us regular writers aren’t that up on yet and sometimes mistakenly make fun of. WHOOPS. So, I’m gonna be a bitchy little girl and just assume I was supposed to be making fun of these all along.

First of all, THERE IS NOTHING MINIMAL ABOUT FLUORESCENT COLORED GALOSHES. I mean, at least according to my definition of "minimal". And you’re probably gonna be like, “But Rothko used a ton of color and his works are quite minimal.” HE DIDN’T USE BRIGHT FUCKING PINK, BRUH, SLASH I’M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT ART BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ART. ALL I KNOW IS CHIAROSCURO. OH YEAH, AND THAT GEORGIA O’KEEFFE PAINTED VAGINAS THAT LOOKED LIKE FLOWERS.

I also know that these "sneakers" aren’t actually sneakers at all really. AND THAT “ART” APPARENTLY COSTS YOU $430 A PAIR. These are like Common Projects except they’re ugly and will remind you of a Syfy Channel made for TV movie in which the "crazy alien lifeform" is really just a giant moth or something easily created in post-production. Aliens don't look like moths. ALIENS LOOK LIKE SAM CASSELL.

  • Marc

    These are fucking ugly. I can picture someone wearing these with a HBA t-shirt and Pyrex shorts with leggings underneath.

    • Themediabull

      hey you can´t wear them fake yeezy 2s everyday breh

    • thatoneguy

      why was i thinking about yeezy/A$AP biters too? i saw these and immediately thought that once these are seen on Ye and Rocky they’ll be hot shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hughesbryant Bryant Hughes

    Solid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=673220808 Anthony Sykes

    As rain boots and/or galoshes I like but that price is dipping in the crazy sauce.