Hickoree’s Summer Sale

Hickoree’s is having a pretty big summer sale right now. Remember when your mom used to drag you to garage sales in the summer? And she’d always try to assuage your boredom and fend off an epic public temper tantrum by saying, “Look, they have a Power Wheel, you want a Power Wheel, don’t you?”

Yeah I want a NEW fucking Power Wheel, not one whose wheels are shot and batteries only last two seconds. How I am I supposed to play Miami Vice with a broke-ass Power Wheel, ya old bitch?

Anyway, this sale is nothing like that. There’s actually dope stuff you’ll want to buy.

  • http://breathnaigh.org Pete

    People who had Power Wheels as kids are 66% more likely to grow up and be assholes. Look it up in pubmed.