Free Bird

You ever seen that show on MTV that was like VMA’s Exposed or some shit? And in 2000, or whenever, Tommy Lee showed up in a trench coat with absolutely nothing on under it? Yo, if people caught me banging Pamela Anderson on camera and were commenting on my huge dong instead of the Hepatitis C we gave each other I would 150% have done the SAME EXACT THING. Can you imagine showing up to an award show with 20,000 pieces of jailbait just trying to nail any celebrity in sight? Honestly, I’m just going to buy this $130 trench from Uniqlo and wear nothing under it for ONE night. I’m letting all my inhibitions go. I’ll just throw my dick in the wind—free bird. Look out for me on the 10 o’clock news.

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  • http://www.mrmag.bandcamp.com MaG

    or in jail. or in the tombs. it’ll be free bird alright…right in yo bootyhole…

    pause. my bad J. i take that back. let’s start over…

    doe trench. i’d cop that too.

    • Bimmler

      Are you retarded?

  • Tjay

    I yelled “Damnnnn!” like Craig and DayDay did off the movie Friday whenever I saw the price of this trench. Black kids like me be lovin’ that cheap, high-quality shit.