First, Second And Fourth Place

The Woodlands just dropped a new beanie collection for you to wear this winter. All of the hats are made from 100% merino wool, which means your brains will be nice and warm this winter. The Woodlands were even nice enough to come up with three different styles, that way, like condoms, you can find a hat that fits your head perfectly. *Siren goes off* "This has been a test of the emergency dick joke system." I can’t verify this, but I believe there’s a leaderboard at the Complex offices that ranks Four Pins dick jokes and I’ve got to be in at least first, second and fourth place. You can buy these hats now, but give it a month or so before you break 'em out. If 60 degrees isn’t cold enough for girls to put those ridiculous Carlton Banks sweater vests on their chihuahuas, it's not cold enough for you to wear a wool hat.

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    Jon this is far and away the most affordable thing you have ever recommended.