Fedora God Responds To Fedora Haters

"You couldn't wear a fedora if your lives depended on it," says YouTuber, and now viral superstar, skunkpaste. Apparently, all of us fedora haters have missed the boat as we yell out "swag" and "yolo" at the top of our lungs. But skunkpaste, a true ambassador of the people, knows the red-headed stepchild of the hat world, the fedora, is reserved for only the classiest of fellows such as himself.

I get it. The fedora gets a lot of hate online. Like, a fucking ton. It's the perfect scapegoat for the neckbearded pick up artists amongst us. We all know the look: fedora, pinstripe vest, deep purple dress shirt, metallic Regis tie and black slacks, none of which actually fit. But skunkpaste won't take this hate sitting down in front of his computer screen. Oh, hell no. He's here to take up the mantle like William Wallace to show us that while we can take his life, we can never take his freedom...to wear a fedora.

He implores us to have to take a quick look at ourselves in the mirror and realize that we are not cool enough to wear this hat. He flashes the middle finger like he just learned what it means and calls us "bully trolls" and "stupid ass haters" and tells us that he'll slit our "throatnecks." His incessant swaying back and forth conveys just how angry he is. He is so fucking lit, bro. You can hear it in his deep, nasally breathing patterns. Not only is he angry, but his insult game is on point. He basically describes Four Pins without even really realizing it. I really hope he's a reader because the term "swag idiot" was tailor-made for us.

All of this withstanding, the undue hate toward the fedora is usually deserved hate toward the trilby. With it's super short and upturned back end brim, the trilby is what we all really fucking hate. In fact, our friend skunkpaste here is wearing a trilby in his very own pro-fedora rant. But semantics arguments are stupid and even though this video was posted three months ago, it's only recently exploded onto our radar.

However, with a scant two clicks of cursory journalistic research, we can see that this beautifully crafted YouTube response video is just another one of skunkpaste's twisted, genius, hilarious online escapades. In previous videos he shows us what typing sounds like on his new keyboard and TAKES A BREAK TO EAT BROCCOLI, or, say, how to feed squirrels with squashed up pizza. What you see before you is just a small sampling. Either way, skunkpaste is a fucking legend.

  • Scooby

    im goin with fedora playa on this one. he’s truly pimpin hard rn.

    he just rewrote the book with this life tutorial. smfh. the Borsalino’s have no choice but to adopt him into the mafia tbh because this guy just put a hit out on all swag idiot trolls. RIP to the fashion game as it once was and may the Fedora God never be forgotten.

    in his next sermon he may reveal the bucket hat challenge and really start the fedora revolution that the gods on olympus are calling for.

    • Scooby

      and when the Skunpaste Eau de Parfum drops at Barneys for s/s 2015, im coppin a couple bottles EARLY. strictly for the pheromones playas

  • Maison..

    Questions all thought of current bae when told last night : “You would look trill in a trilby hat” …. YO SHE LITERALLY TEXTED ME THAT SHIT… I THOUGHT I HAD THE ONE, THE NEYO OF GIRLS.. THEN SHE DROPS THIS SHIT ON ME..WHAT DO I DO? HOW DO YOU CONTINUE….. (INSERTS CHORUS OF ALL FALLS DOWN )

    • Maison..

      DID ANYONE ELSE GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM THIS VIDEO AS WELL?

      • Scooby

        no, i watch a lot of rap videos so i have a high tolerance

    • Bruh

      Ironically enough, Neyo rocks fedoras 24/7. You meant Neo but you’re still on topic I ain’t even mad

  • Fenrid López

    Damn these fedora guys always be moonwalking their ways to my girl’s DMs.
    Class game so strong.

  • Geof

    Homie’s middle finger game is too strong

    • Howl

      Very skrong

  • Moy’s therapist

    This guy is obviously mentally ill. You assholes are quick to laugh at him, judge and expose him. I would feel like shit if I was Moy.

    • MOY SALTY

      since when we been on the internet caring bout peoples feelins? the fuck you been spending to much time with your girlfriend. BITCH

    • Ekwinoks

      first off, this isn’t even written by Jon Moy wtf eat a sack of baby dicks emotional ass nigga

  • Luc

    Umm are those pants Adidas lol

  • MOY SALTY

    NEXT TIME THINK BEFORE YOU DO TROLLIN *BREATHES HARD*
    DEAD

  • king

    What a “We-Todd”!!!!

  • BrokeCollegeKid

    My nigga would kill his grandma if she said something bad about fedoras