Disown Your Son, Buy New Sneakers

Listen, it’s about time you retire those beat up espadrilles because Fall is here and those rope bottoms smell like Bigfoot's dick. Don’t worry, What we have here is the next best thing you can slide your feet into for that comfortable Saturday mimosa drinking morning. Say hello to New Balance's M991GT. Now, these aren’t the snappiest, trendiest Steezy McSteezerson joints by any means—these are just a comfortable pair of sneakers that will hold up for you in the long run. True story, my dad has had the same pair of New Balances for 10 years now. They’re ugly as Chris Bosh but, damn, can those motherfuckers last. I’ve seen him ride horses, play racquetball, disown me as a son AND do some carpentry all while wearing these things. Do yourself a favor and pick these up and disown your own son if you're unlucky enough to have one.

  • QHy

    Why get sneakers that are ugly? NB also makes ones which are reasonably good looking and just as comfortable.

    • Pat

      Articles make this make me question the integrity of this website. These are so god awful ugly, and this is such a waste of time for both the reader and ‘author’, that it can only be a paid plug. These shoes are for narcs, you’re beat.

      • lawrences

        I wish brands would pay us to plug shit. We’re broke, Pat.