Dating A Beautiful Racist

Have you ever been on a date with a girl and everything is going way too perfectly? Like, the way you asked her was done in neither a creepy or random fashion, but actually charming and pleasant and she was genuinely excited to make plans with you? You picked the perfect date: A "random" walk through a giant used bookstore that’s housed in an old warehouse. You both thumb through Penguin classics and she leans in close as you look at the Robinson Crusoe illustrations. Next comes the meal at an adorable gastro-pub-farm-to-table spot that serves hummus and heirloom potato croquettes. And she says something like, “Damn, there are a lot of black people in this neighborhood, aren’t there?” At first you think, SHE’S JUST MAKING AN OBSERVATION, MAYBE THERE ARE A LOT OF BLACK PEOPLE IN THIS PARTICULAR RESTAURANT. But a quick glance around and you realize OH SHIT, I’M ON A DATE WITH A BEAUTIFUL RACIST! Those doe-like eyes and legs in leather pants mask a horrible, horrible monster on the inside. See, almost perfect girls generally don’t have glaring problems like being racist. Most of the time it’s something moderately annoying like wanting to talk about feelings and help you work through your personal problems. This Brooks Brother shirt is kinda like a girl who has great taste in music, looks amazing in leggings and, oh yeah, is a fucking racist. Brooks Bruhs, you had me on the line with the contrast collar and sleeves, all baseball shirt inspired, but then you had to throw your logo on it. Had you not done that, at least 125 dudes in the greater New York City area would have descended upon Manhattan with the same shirt on! Everyone on Tumblr (2 people) is talking about how they hate the logo. The only logos we like are from Supreme and Nike.

  • http://twitter.com/MrMaG254 MaG™

    i smell a Dave Chapelle skit…

  • @hushmoneyco

    I’ve never much minded the BB Logo for the “Golden Fleece” story and heritage behind it. It does however ruin this piece so I agree wholeheartedly.

  • Art

    Wow. You’re actually so fucking right about this Jon Moy. Lol

  • John

    Completely ruined by the logo. BB please take this under advisement.

  • freefromcrazy

    Haha wow this has totally happened to me, anytime she started drinking – it got a lot worse. she also called everyone, i mean everyone fat, crazy.

    • Dave s

      But was she hot? And isn’t everyone fat?

  • jp

    idc idc i would still cop this like wasp catnip

  • Dr. Steve

    Oh my god I gotta have it! White girls luh dis shit, label or not!! Imma be SWIMMIN in da finest womens! Peace out nerds!