Buying Travel Wallets Despite Having Zero Travel Plans

Travel wallets are a wallet genre that always plays me for a sucker because we all want to be globetrotting motherfuckers, having favorite airports and flying business class and shit like that. Lately, I’ve only traveled, like, once or twice a year, which I'll be the first to admit is basically peasant status. I need to be at the clearport at least twice a month, my Gs. My passport should be inked up like a girl from Minnesota living in Brooklyn working as a barista/knitter of legwarmers. Since I want to travel all over the world, I think I need something like a travel wallet, with room for my passport and odd-sized foreign currencies and a notebook so I can remember my favorite bistro in Tibet, when all I really need is my driver’s license and some socks to keep my feet safe from the strange foot diseases of the hoi polloi. I already ordered this Tanner Goods wallet despite HAVING ZERO TRAVEL PLANS. Fuck it, I’m just gonna struggle travel to Canada, but tell everyone I'm headed "overseas."

  • John Scott

    Here is a great example of why I return to this site.