Buying Pants Over The Phone

Why is it that Cash CA always comes through with a pair of pants that I want to buy despite the fact that I own enough pair of pants to have fully clothed legs for the rest of my life? Like, it's going to be incredibly humid and hot and generally unbearable in a few months and yet, here I am, justifying the purchase of slim, tapered "Easy Pants." EASY PANTS SOUNDS LIKE A BRAND OF ELASTIC WAIST JEANS YOUR GRANDPA BUYS HIMSELF OVER THE PHONE AND THEN SPENDS THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS BRAGGING TO EVERYONE ABOUT HOW HE ORDERED A PAIR OF EASY PANTS OVER THE PHONE.