Building The Ultimate Street Style Star

In the name of progress, the Four Pins think tank joined forces with science to create the ultimate street style icon. The first attempts were like that sheep Dolly (shouts to '90s references): simply clones of existing street style superstars. But, while we love a carefully considered steez bite, the overlords here at our revered brain trust wanted to improve on the living, breathing icons. See, we don’t want another Michael Jordan. No, we want someone who's gonna jump higher, dunk harder and only retire twice. In order to do this we've taken style DNA samples from some of the brightest style stars in our universe and combined that shit like a beautifully-mustached mixologist, creating the definitive, ultimate street style star. CALL US FRANKENSTEIN, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Illustrations by Danny Scanzoni

  • Nah Son

    No credit given to the illustrator, cuz it’s a crap drawing.
    Seriously this is way too deviantart, even for this site.

    • Lawrence

      mo’fuckas never loved you?

      • Yalley

        Seriously ‘Nah Son’
        Let’s see your New Yorker cover commissions.

        The illustration is actually quite decent.
        I know. I went to Art Collitch.

        • Nah Son

          I went to Parsons, step down.

          • jay

            I go to RISD. This is shit drawing, but I just took it as a joke

          • human_beeing

            And I go to a SUNY school!

    • LSP

      Seriously. THAT’S supposed to be David Gandy’s face?????

  • stfumikep

    “You unscientific fucks.”

  • Michael

    Jon Moy you fucking fangirl hahaha.
    All of your selection, excluding Wooster (wildly overrated), are fine except that you somehow managed to create something truly hypebeast-y in marrying them all together. Result: the least subtle or refined outfit ever. WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON, TRY AGAIN BRO xxx

    • Lawrence

      See: “humor” tag smfh

    • You Turd

      You have the least subtle and refined brain, bro.
      This isn’t meant to be taking literally.

      • You Turd

        taken, not ‘taking’
        Schwatever…

    • Jon

      Hi Michael how do you really feel?

      • Michael

        I actually overlooked the “humor” tag so my bad Lawrence (we say humour in Europe). SHAKE YOUR FUCKING HEAD BRO, it’s merited. And Jon, sorry for giving you shit again, I just really want your job tbh xxx

        • Frisky

          That lack of a “u” really fucked homie over.

  • Yes

    This is brillian

  • DROL

    SHITE

  • Chase

    Anyone know the specific name of those shoes?

    • Lawrence

      Nike Footscape Woven in the rainbow colorway

  • Matthewlesko

    When does Muy Bien Shop start their sale? Anyone have any codes?

  • The Scientific Fuck.

    Someone please tell this “unscientific fuck” there isn’t negative values for Kelvin temperature. 0ºK It’s Absolute zero.

    • Jon

      I was waiting for that. Hyperbole, my dude.

      • Angelo

        MOY YOU FUCK SCIENCE DOESNT DO HYPERBOLEZ BUT I LOVE IT

      • If we play, we play.

        I can get an hyperbole. But I just don’t call anybody “unscientific” while saying something totally wrong.

  • B

    Ya, we all nerds here.

  • hoc

    Am I the only one who actually thought this was a pretty clever and well written article?

    • kb2003

      Am I the only one who thinks it’s hilarious how hard Four Pins & Co. try not to acknowledge that Nick Wooster is the queeniest queen ever to mince through the village? (Why does it have to be “muscles that girls want to touch”? Why can’t it be “muscles that EVERYONE wants to touch”?)

  • coop

    no need for the degree symbol when using kelvin as the unit of measurement “you unscientific fucks.” if you’re going to be rude, atleast do it properly.