Breaking Down Today’s Biggest Posers

I'm bringing back the word "poser" (or "poseur" if you wanna be a French dick about it). Straight up. This whole everyone and everything is "hipster" bullshit needs to stop. The term "hipster" is just too vague to be used as effective slander. It's fucking lazy and ultimately very confusing. The hipster stigma became too convoluted for me when people started saying that being into unpopular things became too popular and proclaiming such was, in fact, the highest form of hipsterdom. See how confusing all that was? The term "poser", on the other hand, is solid. It's a classic that should've never left the public lexicon in the first place. Most importantly, it works perfectly.

Now, I don't expect this piece is going to go down smooth for everyone. After dropping lavish scriptures on my thoughts regarding tattoos some people or, rather, some people that think Internet comments can change the world, got their itty-bitty fweelings hurt. Before I go in on various types of poserdom allow me to preface with this: Being a poser is the way one carries themselves. It's not a uniform you can wear, though I am about to GO COMPLETELY OFF on a few of these uniforms. We all have done poser-ish things in our day, but some dudes are out here trying to win trophies at it. The key takeaway is that some of the following outfits and trends just try a bit too hard to be something that, well, just isn't and never will be.

With all that fair and balanced garbage out of the way, let's discuss (read: eviscerate via slander) poser try-hands and their current most popular forms.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • crgr

    finally, someone comes correct on the neo goth fashion thugs. shit is ridiculous.

  • Stephen

    good stuffs but please change the white font, its very hard too read

    • Art

      I agree Stephen,
      The white part isn’t as bad as the BLUE LINK part where I have to HIGHLIGHT the damn words just to be able to read them.

  • http://richdudeswithhotwives.tumblr.com/ Grant

    Let me take a second to share my thoughts on slide no. 9. This mother fucker probably has a 1000 followers or some shit on lookbook.nu, and buys the most outrageous garbage from Top Shop. Oh, and I should also mention that he probably WORKS at Top Shop (in the stock room of course). He probably cracked open a box of shipment, saw this onesie (?) and stashed it for himself. All day at work he quietly thought to himself “I cannot fucking wait to have (insert fashungirl name here) take my picture this weekend, gonna cash the fuck out on those lookbook likes!” tumblr, naw, fuck that noise, lookbook.nu is for fashion.

    • http://promisingday.tumblr.com/ Desi

      no.9 is Marni for H&M. So he had to take his break at Topshop/Topman to pick up the matching shirt and short set to wear with his cropped sleeveless rain parka in “Look at me” yellow.

  • http://four-pins.com/author/angelos/ angelo spagnolo

    Slow clap.

  • JHilla

    Shout out to Brazzers

  • http://www.pinterest.com/oldmanfancy Old Man Fancy

    “gets them likes from chubsters who work at Buffalo Exchange”…that cracked me up, and very true. If anyone’s interested, I do a Pinterest page relating to all this crap called THE FAUXTORIALIST. Later guys.

    ~Old Man Fancy

    • Henny

      meh. go away.
      NYC is dumb

      • lawrences

        Skip lives in Seattle.

        • Henny

          2 separate statements brah

  • http://slicstic.blogspot.com taylor

    OUCH! truth hurts indeed! Internet is a double edge sword, sometimes you lose track of reality, got swallowed by the praises brought by mindless likes, comments and re-blogs. Fame can indeed make us fashion worshipers delusional.

    FYI! Guy number 9 probably got his “garbage” from TOPMAN, not TOPSHOP. And yes, I own some “garbage”.

    • http://richdudeswithhotwives.tumblr.com/ Grant

      garbage is garbage is garbage is garbage, no?

  • Kyle

    Just spent a few days at Bread & Butter in Berlin where 50% of the dudes dressed like they just came off working on the railroad. this shit is spot-on.

  • http://www.asharplydressedman.tumblr.com/ asharplydressedman

    Right on the money…

  • Matt

    Where’s the picture of the guy in “tailored cargo pants” and Boglioli jacket? I mean the pants are cool if they’re tapered and no-break right?! I have to have somewhere to keep my fabric swatches and all the patch pockets on my softest of soft shouldered jacket are full. Does anyone have a YOOX code?? #Pot Calling the Kettle Here…

    • lawrences

      Matt, what about Four Pins says “‘tailored cargo pants’ and Boglioli jacket”?

      • t

        Ahhhh yeah, sensitive editor fight night!

        • Matt

          To be completely honest I don’t know what Four Pins is trying to say most of the time, but it is usually lolroflmaohelicopterz. That being said the majority of writers and contributors on here are riding that Italian tailored swag tip pretty hard. Just thought the guide could be a little more comprehensive…

          • lawrences

            Agree to disagree.

          • Matt

            Agreed.

  • dubsta

    Why does these things even matter at all?

    • fence

      haha. don’t worry man

  • danb

    #8 made me lool

  • ja

    I mean, “going night night” all the fucking time and being the king of building forts in your living room cannot be your whole everything.”

    Brilliant

  • Tjayy

    Fuck a slow clap, this right hurr is a standing ovation.

  • diducum

    #10 HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Zoe

    sehr gut… is all very well and good and funny. me likes lots. buuut… number 8 is like montgomery clift in ‘i confess’. ie, SWOON.
    last time i looked, i was still female. and damn that look is ATTRACTIVE (soz)
    never presume what we ladies like. that vestement look is HOT

  • http://www.itsthemansion.com/ Michael AJ Pollo

    LMAOO this dude keeps it 100. he’s always writing what we are all thinking lol

  • Choice

    tell em’ why you mad son

  • a

    genius. 10 really cracked me up

  • MikiMonster

    Dudes that look like practicing members of Opus Dei are proof that emo can go no further. Just one peep under that vestment and you’ll likely see some sort of torture device that puts those self-destructive souls of yesteryear and their box cutters to shame.

  • Guest

    I’m guessing this is strictly a Seattle thing? Which

  • ModerndDayPhilosopher

    I’m guessing this is a Seattle thing…To which I would attribute the horrible fashion sense to the depressing weather

  • JonOnNaRun

    Kinda funny that this article is on the same website that lines up the 25 “best” online mens shops where you can buy all of the fucking poser gear showcased above.

  • Albert

    The 3rd guy in the slide wearing all black is a friend of mine. He’s actually a clothing designer (OATW aka Ohio Against The World is the clothing line). Most importantly he’s far from a poser. I know you guys are just using the pic as an example. But I think if that individual demonstrates that lifestyle 24/7 and is not just doing it for some “Likes” or tags on instagram. He should be praised for going against the grain of common thought and judgmental people. Floyd (the guy in the pic) is that, and even with yall putting him on blast will continue to be that. Peace

  • Geovane M

    Thank you for address Neo Goth Thugs, wearing all black to make a “statement” which doesn’t go further than “I saw omeone on Tumblr dress like this, so now I dress like this too”