The Best And Worst Dressed (And Most Heavily On Drugs) At The 2014 Golden Globe Awards

The Golden Globes, an annual reminder of which movies to hurry up and watch before the Oscars and TV shows your parents are about to get really into, was on last night and I watched it. You’ve come here expecting the usual celebrity takedowns and poignant critiques of fashion mishaps, but all I’ve got is love this time around. The Globez were very pleasant on the whole and I single-handedly paid the bills of every entertainment website, foraging these red carpet slideshows to find you some hidden gems—moments you may have missed in the parade of adequacy that was the well-produced, almost funny, not football event of the weekend.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • Doppelganger

    Started reading this and made it about halfway down and gave up trying to find the wit, humor, or anything of merit.

  • Act#1

    Article sucks

  • Jerms

    Martin Scorcese looks like the grumpy old man from “Up”.

  • Barnaby Jones

    An article on four-pins that is actually funny to people other than middle school shiteaters. Well done, Spagnolo.

    • Luda

      Straight up. The first one I could read that was humorous without all the cynical bullshit.

    • Drew Kaufmann

      idk i kind of like their middle school shiteating humor better

  • kids with crayons

    written by a 4 year old

    • FreeCandyVan

      all of four-pins is written by a 4 year old.

  • Yaya

    I really expected to laugh..but no. Welp

  • Kang Gineaux

    This was funny. Anyone who disagrees is just trying to get in the next “Comments that changed the world” Article.

  • thought

    Alex Ebert’s band is pretty commercially/critically successful and extremely well known. just putting it out there since this article seems to imply he is a nobody

  • Jason Williams

    WEAK!!!!!!!!

  • dopeslanger

    Well, this article sucked!

  • thesouthizback

    That joke about John Voight fell flat. He plays an antoganist on Showtime’s Ray Donovan (and he kills it by the way). Thanks for letting us know that you can’t afford digital cable.

  • Angelo

    SOMEONE TELL FASSBENDER HE AINT FUCKIN CORLEONE, HEM THOSE TROUSERS BRUH THIS AINT THE FUCKING BET AWARDS. AND DONT EVEN START ME ON THE JACKET OR SLEEVE LENGTH DOG

    • Charles Ramsey

      How about you watch your mouth and tell him yourself. Oh that’s right, you’re a nobody and can not do that.

  • fun globes

    Why all the hate? This seemed to be decently funny.
    Except the first sentence of the intro still makes no sense after reading it three times.

  • njjnnjjnj

    chill on the comments bros, good article