“The Bergdorf Experiment”

I can't front, I love these 20/20-style "investigative journalism" pieces. This lady went undercover to test the thesis behind a Harvard Business School study that purports sales people tend to assign greater status to women dressed like slobs instead of women who are "properly dressed." The more deliberate the crappy dressing, the higher the status inference. To wit:

"To investigate this counterintuitive finding, I rolled out of bed one Wednesday morning and into Bergdorf Goodman, sporting sweats, hiking boots and a zebra-print beanie with dirty unbrushed hair underneath. Other noteworthy accessories: oversize sunglasses, a Venti Starbucks cup, a T-shirt with Abraham Lincoln holding a kitten on it and a canvas Trader Joe’s shopping bag. I kept my sunglasses on. 'I’m a celebrity,' I told myself. 'I have money and power.'"

LOLZ you dressed exactly like this girl I dated in Law School. She was horrible. Side note: EVERY TIME I GO INTO BERGDROF I'M GENERALLY SPORTING SWEATS AND HIKING BOOTS. But really though, you just dressed like an asshole. AND THEN ACTED LIKE ONE. According to this fucking story, when the sales clerk asked you to take off your sunglasses you refused. WHAT KIND OF WILD STRANGE BEHAVIOR IS THAT? And then, for your "rich lady look", you dressed like even more of an asshole and added an innocent dog into the mix.

"I now was dressed in a gray trench coat, black dress and black kitten-heeled boots. Notable accessories for round two: a Missoni wrap, a Louis Vuitton pouchette, a toy poodle named Mishka."

OF COURSE NOBODY WANTED TO HELP YOU. YOU WORE KITTEN HEELS. I FOLLOW ENOUGH BAD CHICKS ON TWITTER TO KNOW THAT KITTEN HEELS ARE THE HEELS OF THE BASIC. AND BASICS DON'T COP CHANEL.

Also, this isn't really an examination into the psyche of a high-end sales clerk. High-end sales clerks know real rich people don't need help spending their money. They just expect to immediately retrieve what they want and to be silent about it like any good help. THE WEALTHY OLIGARCHY CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH INTERACTIONS WITH THE HOI POLLOI. WHEN I WALK INTO SAINT LAURENT I KNOW WHAT I'M BUYING ALREADY. I DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO ASSIST ME. TAKE IT EASY, DEVON. I GIVE ZERO FUCKS ABOUT YOUR OPINION ON THIS SICK FIT I JUST PUT TOGETHER ON THE FLY.  RING ME UP AND MAKE SURE YOU FOLD MY OSTENTATIOUS SCARVES UP REAL NICE LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BOY.

For real though, the only thing that makes this entire "experiment" possible is white privilege. And don’t get all touchy with me, it's true. HOW YOU GONNA SIT THERE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE AND RECOMMEND WE WEAR HOODIES AND TIMBS AND SKI CAPS INTO BG? A black kid couldn’t even buy something at Barneys without getting accused of credit card fraud. You think he's gonna get better service wearing baggy sweatpants and a Trader Joe's bag? I feel like Jessica Williams would disagree with me.

  • Fresh360

    I just stumbled upon this site (I mistakenly touched a pop up ad SMH) but man this is the best mistake I have made in a long time. Great articles, not too serious or snarky keep it up.

    • connor

      someones basic

      • Dr. Steve

        yeah u

    • Sir

      right man? the level humor with intensely accurate information is astounding truly in need of more recognition.

  • GUEST

    ” I FOLLOW ENOUGH BAD CHICKS ON TWITTER TO KNOW THAT KITTEN HEELS ARE THE HEELS OF THE BASIC. AND BASICS DON’T COP CHANEL.”

    I spat out my drink after reading those 2 lines.

  • michael jordan

    once again a blogger proves you can turn anything into a debate over white privilege
    i won’t front and say i want to avoid the debate, since if i did i wouldn’t have brought it up, but shut up you fuckin mudblood dork

    • Adonai

      Bruh. Youre Just Mad Because You Know It’s True.
      White Privilege Still Exist. He’s Not Rubbing It In Your Face.
      He’s Just Stating Facts.
      If This Experiment Was Done With A Black Women Or Male It Would Yield ENTIRELY Different Results.

      • michael jordan

        of course white privilege exists in white majority countries you bozo.
        thing is, most first world countries are white, so social justice warriors get up in arms over it thinking it’s some sort of travesty. go ahead tell me how privileged i’d be over in Japan, or Saudi Arabia, or Colombia.

        the good news for you oppressed minorities is that white people will have been bred close to extinction within the next century. the bad news is you’ll have to find something else to blame your problems on

        • Jordan

          It’s also funny how minorities in general complain about racism, like it’s not something they partake in? Don’t blacks in Africa commit genocide on their own people of same color? Not everything in life is fair nor was it meant to be. Complaining about not being treated the same as someone else for whatever reason doesn’t make people forget stereotypes. Judgement is a part of life, everyone does it and everyone will continue to do it until the end of time.

          • Justin Bell

            He was talking about systemic racism not flat out just being prejudice towards others based on their skin color. As far as the unnamed “blacks in Africa” that’s unrelated, this isn’t Africa. And as far Judgment you’re right, people will always judge. Just don’t act upon your preconceived notions before they’ve been confirmed some how.

        • Adonai

          I don’t have time to read this my nigga.
          I’m too busy getting guap and gettin my butt licked.
          Go buy some old navy and keep commenting talk that you would never say in person.
          Nobody was complaining except you fuccboi. brokkkboi.
          Get your money up

          • Haynessss

            ^^^ The reason there is still white privilege in the US. Grow up and get an education “fuccboi”. You’ll never prosper acting that way, no matter how much “guap” you say you have.

        • kneelbeforetigers

          Good… so we won’t have to deal with any of your kin in the future. WHEW.

          And “mudblood” for the basic win. This Black girl is steady laughing at you because you sound so so thirsty.

  • Alan Longino

    “the hoi polloi” the …. the …. the …. the. someone hasn’t seen dead poets society.

  • bguo

    what the hell am i reading? who’s who?

  • Cool story bro

    Another wack article from Jon Moy. Dude, you suck.

  • Not White

    the undercover woman and the blogger who wrote this are obviously SUBRUBAN WHITE PEOPLE

  • North

    I have learned nothing from this ‘article’ except that Four-Pins will hire anyone with a keyboard and that, yes, white privilege still exists…?