Beeper Not Included

Yo, these Battenwear shorts are crazy. You have two choices when you wear shorts like this: Acquire and do as many drugs as possible and move to a tropical locale (i.e. become a surf instructor) or wear them with a tall tee, coke whites and sell drugs to the aforementioned surf instructors. I would choose the latter, but that’s only because I can’t swim that well. Also, because I think drug dealers make a little bit more money than surf instructors. I also really want to use a beeper during the course of my day to day. Imagine how good one would look on the waistband of these shorts.