App That Tracks Lost Sunglasses May Be Wearable Tech’s Savior, But Probably Not

Damn, wearable technology is finally turning the fuck down and maybe getting kind of useful for a change. Tzukuri is a sunglasses company pushing Bluetooth trackable sunglasses. Since I have to wear glasses in order to see anything aka survive, I don't ever lose sunglasses, but I can see the function in a pair of glasses that will warn you when you leave them behind. I mean, if my friend had a pair of these, I'd immediately steal them and then make him play a real life game of The Fugitive where he has to track me through a series of bars.

Let's be honest, you shouldn't buy a pair of sunglasses just because they are harder to lose. You should buy a pair of sunglasses because they cover up the flaws on your face as much as possible. Me? I'm not getting a pair of glasses that can be tracked. That's just one more way the man is gonna be able to watch me. OBAMA AND ZUCKERBERG DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW OFTEN I LEAVE MY SUNGLASSES BEHIND AT DEL TACO. WHEN AND WHERE I GET SLUMPED OFF MACHO TACOS IS MY BUSINESS AND MY BUSINESS ALONE.

  • Eggbert

    No longer will I have to buy a new pair every year