The Anti-Swag Field Guide

You guys ready for a particle physics lesson? Me neither. But I did go onto Wikipedia the other day to learn a lot about matter and antimatter. Did you guys know that if regular particles and antiparticles collide they complete annihilate each other? Yeah, and the resulting annihilation creates Gamma Rays, neutrinos and probably a whole bunch of other matter, but I stopped reading the article after the 1st paragraph. What does all this lame ass nerd talk have to do with clothes, right? Well, I mean, technically everything, but I’ll let your physics professor convince you of that. Specifically I’m talking 'bout swag and anti-swag.

Did you guys not know about the existence of anti-swag? Don’t feel bad man, modern physics didn’t embrace the antimatter theory until around 1928. When it comes to swag, anti-swag completely cancels out any cool your other gear may have brought to the table. While gamma rays and neutrinos don’t result from the mutual annihilation, there is a by-product. In this case? You looking like a fucking chump. And that's why I’m here speaking with you today, to help you avoid devastating articles of anti-swag.

  • http://instagram.com/isthismenswear Is this Menswear.com

    ON POINT

  • gab

    Deodorant and toothbrushes should be on here as well.

  • Cliff Rancho

    I was rolling along nicely, having avoided all the trends as if they were petitioners on the corner. Was feeling good, feeling great, was getting more and more confident. Then BAM! – blind-sided by #20, the Red Wing boots. Conclusion: you suck and don’t know what you’re talking about! Boom, roasted.

    • Aaron

      I’m all kinds of ok with being anti-swag if it means having some comfortable as hell Redwing boots on my feet.

    • http://instagram.com/isthismenswear Is this Menswear.com

      Viberg…

      • Gob

        The existence of Viberg doesn’t render Red Wings useless though, they’re still plenty good.

    • OK_ok

      RED WING SUCKS DO YOU EVEN LIVE IN NEW YORK? YOU FUCKING SUCK YOU SHOULD WEAR MORE EXPENSIVE FOOTWEAR ONCE AGAIN YOU FUCKING SUCH I ACTUALLY OWN AN APARTMENT ON THE LES SO FUCK YOU

      • OK_ok

        sorry

  • Anthony

    You just face-palmed so many boner posers. Much appreciated.

  • disqus_jgw0vX9CWd

    so basically everything Four-Pins editors used to be in love with now sucks. huh.

    • dan

      and everything they’re still secretly in love with. I almost thought this was one of those What to Wear This Season posts on Esquire.

  • Camp Hattington

    You forgot 5 panel hats. I know you’re still rocking them shits Moy but my god…we stopped skating in high school my dude.

  • nicolazaro

    best article in a minute bru bru

  • Gazmend

    Oh, this is why the qualty of your photos here is shit. You don’t like DSLRs.

  • Jay Ponzer

    *your

  • are you kidding

    four-pins is a blog you big hypocrite

  • disqus_4wmztEALhW

    lol is this article sarcastic orrrr…

  • Gob

    There are plenty of good regular Nikes.
    DSLRs have their uses.
    Red Wing boots are americana essentials.
    iPads are alright.

  • RyanWH

    Jon and Jake hate Red Wing’s because they’re “played out” but they’re “played out” because they’re accessible, timeless, affordable, and they look good. I guarantee you’d be into them if they weren’t as popular. There’s no possible way you could hate how all Red Wing’s look unless you’re trying really hard.

  • Brandon Mahler

    s t e p p e d o n t o e s

  • juicy j

    I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU JON MOY, DON’T BE A JACK WOOLF

  • WBJ

    totally disagree with suspenders. wrong on that one four-pins. Don’t be obsessed with only high fashion, expensive only gear that it clouds your vision.

  • qrct1

    Bravo. another one by the internet’s most

  • Kid A

    Using the word Swag is inherently anti-swag. Now my swag is screwed because I used the word three times in one post.

  • John Jones

    This was desperate

    • http://blcklistd.com/ blcklistd

      slow news day…

  • Geovane M

    Why are double monks being slammed on the same website that promotes them?Am I missing something?

    I’ll at least agree that bow ties deserve being slammed and espadrilles are ugly as hell but most of the things on this list are items Four Pins editors have raved about. Where is the logic there? And I’m a pleb because I dont own an iPhone? Last I checked 9 million other people bought the 5S, so you’re about as exclusive as the other millions of people with an iPhone. I call bullshit with this entire article.

    • WTT

      Why are you so mad?

    • UMAD?

      Very very mad bruh?

  • Shawn

    Man, having a job must be anti-swag as well in the eyes of a Four-Pins writer at this rate…

  • TRISTVN SKPN

    TOTALLY AGREE ON NORTH FACE.

  • 10 Angry Toilets

    Isnt it a bit ironic that the word ‘swag’ has become the ‘anti-swag’?

  • Randy

    As in this is such a failure. Like some of the things you mention here as ‘anti-swag’ are practical and still productive and useful things even in the sense of fashion but I should simply assume that since you’re using the word ‘swag’ in an article I should assumed the the level of thought on some of these wouldn’t be pass 9th grade level.

  • Ralph the fag

    I’m Ralph and I’m so gay

  • Michael

    Jon Moy,
    You are that guy who works overtime trying to create the illusion that you don’t take anything seriously. You are disproportionately influenced by Kanye West, the Tres Bien lookbook and anything Hypebeast tells you to like.
    I’d say your are likely to wear a North Face Purple Label jacket and some trainers that had a collaboration to the office conveying that you’re just a swagged out chill guy who doesn’t take fashion seriously. In reality, you paid over the odds for your jacket just coz it got a lot of hype on the internet just like your Nike x APC trainers. But you’re okay with paying that much extra to get some “swag” points from all the other guys in Norse Elkas at the coffee shop. Be honest, you definitely jumped on that Supreme bandwagon so hard when it was “next level shit” ha ha ha GOLFWANG.
    My point is, so many guys bid on ebay for the Kanye sneakers nowadays that you are not actually original at all, you’re just a trend follower and c’mon man, that shit is lame.

    Also, your aesthetic is painfully American. Greetings from Europe xxxxx

    • Michael again

      You shouldn’t be allowed buy clothes from Scandinavia. xxxxxx

      • http://blcklistd.com/ blcklistd

        now thats funny…

  • That’s Me

    You all realize that Four Pins is the Portlandia of NYC street fashion right?

  • jonmonday

    Way down with this article. The photo for the french cuff shirts is hilarious.
    Only alternative to Red Wing is Viberg and I will faithfully rock Red Wings until I can afford a pair.

  • That’s Me

    Four Pins is the Portlandia of NYC street fashion.

  • Ocho Cinco

    This article is garbage! It’s basically teaching hypebeast how to remain hypebeast.

  • Ernesto

    I think this is a little too condescending and douchey to discern if it’s sarcastic or not. Not very surprising to see from Jon Moy: Four Pins’ worst author and the dude with the worst style.

  • cliff

    if you need a website to tell you what you can and can’t wear because its not cool anymore your probably f**ked either way.

  • Martian Margiela

    This article is clearly intended to be tongue in cheek, aka taken with a grain of salt and funny. Am I the first person to call that out? (only managed to skim some of the 40 plus comments before the idiocy started to nauseate me)

    BTW, Jon Moy is hilarious. He is like a Beethoven with this sort of thing while most tap away on some iPad piano app.

    • Written on an ipad.

      SLURP SLURP

      • Martian Margiela

        Awe. Looks like someone is mad because they never receive praise.

  • DearLord

    Oh my god I keep thinking this article is a joke and it isn’t.

  • Noe/Edub

    Fedoras and bowties will kill any outfit or any amount of self esteem. Even Ye’ looked sad with one on.

  • http://theatlas.co/ The Atlas

    Jon Moy = biggest Hypebeast fuckboy: makes brandon sales look like a decent human

  • Who writes this shit??

    How do these lame ass writers get jobs?

    Hey! You. Yes you. Jon Moy. You suck!

  • Kyle

    Gentlemen, to give a fuck about what this site appears to be ‘telling’ you to do/like/wear/care about is 100% missing the point.

    Soak in the lulz and occasional product review.

  • Yung money

    Humor you fagits do you speak it

  • Taylor D

    YEEAAAA definitely gotta struggle-sneak that last one in there, “advising” potential bloggers aka potential competition not to even try and be competitive. LOL at the implicit insecurity

  • Taylor

    Some really stupid people in this coment section. It’s like you don’t even understand this website. Seriously, is this the first time most of y’all have read anything on here?

  • Gravy on those grits

    How will I passively protest our volatile relationship with precious metals and stones without ethnic beads and mewlery… And I’m only being a little
    sarcastic..

  • Sarah

    You made a ridiculous number of spelling mistakes in this article. If you’re going to impose your bullshit 1st world fashion biases on shoeless people in Africa then you should try proofreading your fucking writing next time.

  • Jacob Lemon

    all y’all complaining probably own 5+ of these sus articles. Sitting there on your ipad all heated in your fedora x shit tier north face.

  • Scott Hall

    Lol so much troll

  • http://superdanger.us/ Alexander Maier

    top knots are out?…dang.