Abercrombie’s In-House Guidelines For Dressing Like A Douchebag

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! INTERNAL DOCUMENTS LEAKED FROM MAJOR CORPORATION! Buzzfeed calls this an "internal document" from Abercrombie & Fitch. I call this some shit a seventeen-year-old took home to make fun of. According to these awesome time capsules of objectively bad taste, we should all consider ourselves lucky—at least, those of us who have avoided employment at places like A&F. All the dudes I know who ever worked there thought they’d meet hot girls who wore skinny jeans and gave blowies, but instead of fellatio in poorly lit dressing rooms, all they ended up getting was a shift folding jeans with mad holes in them. THEY KEEP THE UGLY KIDS IN THE BACK. Check out these most likely laminated, step-by-step instructions on how to dress like a douchebag.

  • http://twitter.com/MrMaG254 Joel aka MaG

    i KNOW you saw the innocuous lil’ black man hand poking out in the last slide. gotta love the token colored man love at abercrombie. he’s too dark to work for them, though. had to be a mail order model.

    • http://twitter.com/AshleyNoire Cashmere Jones

      Except that’s a girl

      • http://twitter.com/MrMaG254 Joel aka MaG

        her hand is a lil’ manly though.

  • http://twitter.com/DustinOtton Dustin Otton

    the real wild thing about this is it’s styling to counteract how your typical A&F customer (circa 2008, I havent kept up) actually dresses.

  • GD

    well done

  • Andres

    Huge takedown of A&F! Bam! Never could work through the nuance of their marketing, could you do Ed Hardy next? Or American Eagle?

    • Koda

      You go up the register and ask if you can have the Triple A’s style guide. It’s not that hard. You can take the guide and walk around in the store to do your shopping. Heck some people take a pic of it.

  • http://twitter.com/sretsoK Tim

    “Brown leather flip flops look great with any look”

    Righttt.

  • Max

    As a sad Abercrombie employee I’ll inform you all that these documents are not hard to get, go up to the cash register and ask for a “Triple A” Paper.

  • Koda

    It’s not fair to say “THEY KEEP THE UGLY KIDS IN THE BACK.” Not true at all. The people who work stock are called “Impact.” I’ve seen some great looking impact team members. When you interview, you are given a choice whether which position you apply to. Of course, the “look” policy still holds true across all A&F brands like Hollister, Abercrombie Kids, and Gilly Hicks.
    The general rule is they put the more attractive people on front and they put the less attractive in the back but that doesn’t mean “less attractive” means ugly. I’ve seen some impact team members that are better looking than the “models” up front and besides it’s also up to the associate which job he/she prefers (if of course you had the looks).