20 Surefire Ways To Avoid Wearing Pants

If you could fix one thing in the world—anything at all—what would it be? Most of you probably answered "pants," which obviously is the correct response. Thanks for playing, "world hunger." Why don’t you let the adults take it from here, huh?

Pants are pretty much the worst thing ever. First of all, you have to put them on, which is horrifying on all fronts. You've gotta squeeze your blob of a body through tight denim like Colgate toothpaste through a tube. Then you've got to wear them all day, while your lower body becomes a fucking furnace. Oh, and every time you finish using the toilet you have to use your zipper aka dick guillotine. Needless to say, a world without pants is a better world.

I mean, think about it. Could Mahatma Gandhi have beaten the Nazis if he was wearing slacks? Of course not. He stopped all over their Jerry asses in nothing but a bath towel. Also, I'm not really too good with history. Point is, you should try to live your life free from the oppressive claws of pants. In this list you will find 20 ways that you can drop trow without anyone noticing or caring.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

  • listicles are OMG WEAK FAIL

    Wow this shit’s weak. Pointless

    • Dave s

      Agreed. Laughs for ‘tards

  • GAS_SMOKER

    I disagree, it prompted a few gut laughs.

    Matt remains on point.

  • pooppants

    that homeless guys fit is on point

  • Dick Diggler

    LOLed thrice.